Breaking Burgh - A satirical blog serving Western Pennsylvania and beyond

Politics, World September 23, 2017

African Nation Of Nambia Destroyed In Devastating Terrorist Attack

The small African nation state of Nambia is sadly no more. President Trump said he received intelligence of a massive terrorist attack that utterly overwhelmed the plucky pacifist nation, which never stood a chance. “It…

Science, Sports September 23, 2017

Trump Says He’s Not Against Political Gestures – Proposes Mandatory Presidential Salute

After suggesting NFL owners fire players who ‘take a knee’ to display solidarity with minorities, President Trump has taken flak for being opposed tooth and nail to political gestures. The President quickly rejected this criticism…

Politics, World September 22, 2017

Kim Jong-un Issues Unreserved Apology To World’s Dotards

(Pyongyang, DPRK) North Korean leader Kin Jong-un wasted no time firing back a combative response to President Trump’s UN address, which included a threat to ‘totally destroy’ the isolated nation on the Korean peninsula. In…

Politics, World September 21, 2017

Capital Of Nambia To Be Twinned With Bowling Green, Kentucky

(Boulshaaat, Nambia) The small African nation of Nambia has been thrust into the international spotlight after being mentioned by President Trump during meetings at the UN General Assembly. “Thank you, President Trump, for mentioning us…

Politics, World September 21, 2017

Trump Boasts Three Times As Many Countries At His UN General Assembly Compared To Obama

Having heard that President Obama had the leaders of around 190 countries listen to him speak at one of his UN addresses, President Trump took to Twitter today to report that he had almost three…

Health, Politics September 20, 2017

Senator Graham Says If Obamacare Not Repealed Everyone Will Want Cancer

Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell has indicated he intends to bring the Graham-Cassidy bill – the latest attempt to repeal the Affordable Care Act (ACA) or Obamacare – for a vote next week. Co-author of…

Politics, World September 20, 2017

Trump Absent As UN Meeting Enters Cage Match Conflict Resolution Phase

(NYC) President Trump was visibly absent from the UN General Assembly today as the meeting entered the crucial cage match conflict resolution phase, where countries attempt to solve their differences by having leaders fight one-on-one…

Politics September 20, 2017

Secret Service To Provide Kellyanne Conway With ‘Alternative Protection’ In Future

Rumors that the Secret Service will no longer be providing Kellyanne Conway with protection were proved to be unfounded today, after the agency clarified the matter in a rare public statrment. “This is not true….

Arts & Entertainment, Bigotry, Politics, TV September 20, 2017

Donald Trump Wins Emmy For His Gripping New Reality Show ‘Merica

There were no surprises in the reality TV category at the Emmys where veteran star Donald Trump together with his co-creator Steven Bannon took home the award for best Reality TV program. “There was really…

Health, Politics September 19, 2017

John Kelly Treated For Side Effects Of Too Much Facepalming

White House Chief of Staff John Kelly had to excuse himself briefly today to receive treatment for a facial rash, which medical staff determined was the result of excessive facepalming. “The skin eventually becomes irritated…

Politics, World September 19, 2017

Foreign Leaders Bemused By Crazed Trump Impersonator At The United Nations

Presidents and Prime Ministers from all over the globe were bemused today after they say they were punk’d by someone pretending to be President Trump who called Kim Jong-Un a ‘rocketman’ and bragged about crushing…

Politics September 19, 2017

Trump’s July 4th Military Parade To Be Deferred Five Times And Never Happen

After revealing how much he enjoyed France’s Bastille Day parade, President Trump has indicated he wants to have his own July 4th Military Parade down Pennsylvania to show off America’s might. This has triggered objections…

Local September 18, 2017

Armed Pittsburghers Occupy Kennywood Demanding Log Jammer Be Kept Open

The beloved Log Jammer at Kennywood was supposed to have its final riders on Sunday, but that will not be the case according to Pittsburghers who have forcefully occupied the Park in protest at its…

Business September 18, 2017

Toy Retailer ‘Toy R Us’ Issues Massive Recall Of Piggy Banks

Retailer Toys R Us has issued what is believed to be the biggest ever recall of piggy banks, which is said should to returned to its stores as soon as possible. “Do not under any…

Politics, TV, World September 18, 2017

Trump Tells UN To Tackle Global Challenges By Forming Two Teams Of Countries

(New York, NY) Speaking to the United Nations for the first time, U.S. President Donald Trump urged the organization to take on the many challenges facing the world in the trying times. “The way to…

Local, Transport September 15, 2017

Pittsburghers Decry New Bike Lanes “We’re Still Learning To Drive The Old Roads”

Bike lanes are popping up all over Pittsburgh, and not without controversy, with critics saying it is unrealistic to expect city residents to adapt to a new road system when they are still in the…

Law & Order, Politics September 14, 2017

Robert Mueller Stepping Down Because Impeaching Trump Not Challenging Enough

Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller made a surprise announcement today that he is voluntarily resigning his position, as he claims the task of building a case for impeachment of the President is too easy. “If you…

Politics, Weather September 12, 2017

Trump Proposes Flood Barrier To Protect Against Storm Surges From Mexico

Everyone knows hurricanes – like lightening – never strike the same place twice, which is why President Trump says the next big hurricane will drive water into Mexico which will then flow into the United…

Business, Technology September 12, 2017

Apple Introduces 7 Foot Tall iPhone Able To Display Full-Size Selfies

(Cupertino, CA) Apple CEO Tim Cook finally managed to surprise Mac aficionados today in a manner to match the late Steve Jobs with the shock release of the iPhoneGR8. Standing just over 7 feet tall,…

Politics, Sex, Technology September 12, 2017

Hardcore Porn Video Grossed Out By Being Liked By Ted Cruz

A porn video has expressed it’s disgust after learning it had been ‘liked’ on twitter by the account of Texas Senator and fair-weather Canadian Ted Cruz. “So gross. Ew.” The hardcore pornography said it was…

1 2 3 … 55 »