DC area headhunters have weighed in on the prospects of outgoing White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders finding a job in the private sector, and say the chances are very good. “Companies are always on…
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White House Advisor Stephen Miller was in some distress today after he had what he described as a physically painful nightmare which caused him to wake up screaming. In the dream Miller says he broke…
Following a number of high-profile boycotts of the State of Georgia over its passage of restrictive abortion laws, the rest of the United States has now agreed to start boycotting Florida. The boycott appeared to…
President Trump has declared that a state of war exists between the United States and Iran, after being presented with ‘ironclad evidence’ by John Bolton that the Islamic Republic is behind IT problems and long…
Kellyanne Conway is being questioned today about a trip she recently took to New Mexico, allegedly to make a point in defiance of her critics. There she is said to have dug up the grave…
The news that Sarah Sanders is stepping down as White House Press Secretary had barely started to circulate when a surprise announcement that Beaker would be replacing her was met with approval even from the…
Kellyanne Conway wished her boss happy birthday today, and presented him with a thoughtful gift she was sure he would like – a personalized violation of the Hatch Act. “This one is especially for you,…
As the score of Democratic candidates vying for the party’s nomination argue over whether is better to be on team purple or team orange (answer: purple, obviously), Hillary Clinton today called organizers to confirm where…
President Trump has taken the occasion of his birthday to suggest his wife should be called ‘Melania T’ in an obvious nod to the glamorous wife of President Kennedy. However the idea has been objected…
A day after revealing his Air Force One redesign using livery remarkably reminiscent of his own personal aircraft, President Trump has ditched it in favor of a new proposal made by Boeing. “I love this…
(Pyongyang DPRK)North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has paid tribute to his friend President Trump on the occasion of his 73rd birthday, saying he has a special gift for him. “In honor of this momentous occasion I…
Kellyanne Conway has finally responded to a recommendation that she be removed for partisan activity while employed at the White House – a clear violation of the Hatch Act forbidding such behavior. “You know I’m…
In a tweet defending his right to take advice from foreign nationals, Trump lauded his recent meetings with Queen of England, the Irish Premier, and the Prince of Whales [sic]. The news has been received…
Starbucks billionaire and former CEO Howard Schultz has suspended his Presidential Campaign indefinitely, according to staff who were let go today. Schultz thanked them for their efforts, and gave special thanks to the focus of…
A bear seen parading through Penn Hills and Edgewood has informed local media it’s engaging in a legitimate protest against alligator immigration. It encouraged other area bears to join it in a show of strength…
Say he was ‘sorry, so sorry, I’ve never been more sorry’, President Trump today offered his son Eric Trump to be a spy for North Korea in an attempt to repair his bromance with Kim…
(Washington, DC) The National Archives announced today that it will be embarking on a major project to translate all the speeches made by President Trump into English to make them accessible to all Americans now…
With President Trump doing his best to make the Fourth of July holiday about himself, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is reportedly getting into full battle mode again, as news leaked she is urgently developing a…
Democratic front runner Joe Biden tore into President Trump’s record today, describing him as an ‘existential threat’ to the United States. When informed of the remark, Trump was furious with aides for not first translating…
The demise of an commerative oak tree planted by French leader Emmanual Macron and President Trump on White House grounds has been ruled a suicide by an arborist investigating the incident. “This sapling had everything…