The nation’s leading news media outlets has warned the public not to misinterpret the current lack of major news stories about what a basketcase Florida is. “Just because we don’t have any mindblowing articles about…
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Presidential super-lawyer Rudy Giuliani has weighed in on Attorney General Bill Barr’s summary of the Mueller report that states there was no finding of collusion with Russia. “This DOJ summary clearly exonerates President Trump for…
President Trump has spent the day receiving calls congratulating him on being cleared by the Attorney General of charges he colluded with Russia following the submission of the Mueller report to the DOJ. One of…
A High School adaptation stage adaptation of the iconic movie Alien has garnered nationwide attention, both for its stunning brilliance but also because it is almost certainly a violation of copyright. Initial concerns were that…
There is an excess of thoughts and prayers in the United States today, as those sent from here to New Zealand in the wake of the mosque shootings returned unused. “They were very grateful but…
In a surprise shakeup of the 2020 election, it appears that President Trump will be running on a Trump/Kid Rock ticket. Trump informed Vice President Mike Pence, the nominal bottom half of the ticket until…
President Trump took to twitter today to give his impressions on the Mueller report documenting the special prosecutors investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election. “It’s a big report. The biggest report. You’ve never…
President Trump is reportedly steaming that his Attorney General has seen the contents of the Mueller report and he has not. He demanded that it be made available to him immediately so he can learn…
A cow from Iowa is suing Twitter and the owner of the “David Nunes’ Cow” twitter account, on the basis that it is the cow that is being mocked via puns relating to its physiology…
Food industry experts have warned that the country is woefully unprepared in terms of popcorn supplies for what it is currently facing. “We had just enough to get through Michael Cohen’s testimony, but that’s about…
As everyone awaits the result of Robert Mueller’s report into allegations of collusion with Russia to bring about President Trump’s electoral victory in 2016, sources are already leaking that it will be a disapointment. “I…
(The White House) In what is being described as highly uncharacteristic behavior, President Trump was said to be in a ‘great hurry’ today, in contrast to his usual leisurely way of not doing things. He…
(The White House) President Trump renewed his attacks via twitter on the late John McCain today, placing the blame for a near fall in the Oval Office on the deceased Arizona Senator. He insists that…
Asked for his thoughts on the 2020 election today, Russian leader Vladimir Putin said he believes the incumbent Donald Trump may not deserve re-election. “I am definitely open to installing a different stooge this time.”…
President Trump continued to hide his frustration with the late Senator John McCain today, whom he criticized for his lack of gratitude. “I approved his funeral. Such a great funeral. But did he thank me?…
Speaking to a crowd of supporters today, President Trump started preparing them for the realities of winning the 2020 election. “I may have to modify my message from the positive white nationalist one you heard…
Saying it is imperative to keep up with customers’ evolving preferences, the nation’s leading grocery store chains have announced the introduction of dedicated checkouts for customers engaged in racist tirades. “You ranted. We listened.” All…
A furious President Trump has demanded via tweet that a full federal investigation followed by ‘severe’ sanctions be launched into a satirical television show he saw last weekend. Called “That Was The Week That Was”,…
Texas politician and Democrat heartthrob Beto O’Rourke has quit the 2020 race for President almost as soon as he entered it, after raising a record six million dollars in 24 hours. “Gotta go guys, but…
Following President Trump’s repeated insistence that the NBC comedy sketch show Saturday Night Live is a threat to national security that needs to be federally investigated, independent scrutiny has indeed confirmed it is an anti-American…