Following its pause in the distribution of the J&J COVID vaccine over concerns it had lead to a small number of blood clots, the CDC has now paused the distribution of firearms after uncovering worrying…
Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell has announced his opposition to President Biden’s infrastructure plan, which he says will start opposing in earnest after a short vacation at the beach for his annual mating ritual. “Though…
Attorneys representing former Minnesota police officer Derek Chauvin indicated they would be pursuing a new line of defense going forward which they say completely exonerates their client. “Mister Chauvin’s only crime was mistaking his knee…
(Sharon, PA) A local man spoke out today about the pain of living in a state governed by a Nazi executive that is clearly out to get him and his kind. “To all those who…
(Charleston, WV) As the Biden administration seeks to hold the razor-thin Democrat majority in the Senate together to pass a massive infrastructure bill, all eyes are on Joe Manchin who has already demonstrated the power…
Congressman Matt Gaetz was thrown a welcome lifeline today as Rudy Giuliani offered to represent him during his current legal woes with the FBI. “I have a good feel for this type of case.” Giuliani…
Embattled congressman Mike Gaetz, who is under investigation by the FBI for transporting a minor across state lines for the purpose of having sex, today demanded the opportunity to see the underage girl in question…
The ongoing sage of the future plans for the Pittsburgh Steelers entered a new chapter today, with word the team was relocating to Pittsburg, CA. Owner Art Rooney II said it was a simple matter…
Leading members of the Republican establishment admitted today they have no idea what happened over the last few years, as they collectively came to the sudden realization that the party of Lincoln now had people…
Famed sciurid meteorologist Punxsutawney Phil made a rare unscheduled appearance today to say ‘I told you so’ to all the doubters and haters who’ve being saying his best days are behind him. After predicting six…
Fans of 80s and 90s Mancunian music are ecstatic today after news leaked that both The Smiths and Oasis are reforming jointly to create the guitar-based superband ‘The Smasis’. Though talks of either band reforming…
(Pittsburgh, PA) In a move sure to please advocates for climate change action, the second largest city in the state of Pennsylvania has announced it will be America’s first large metropolis with a comprehensive ban…
Though a number of arch Trumpers, including Congressman Matt Gaetz and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, see themselves as the natural heir to the former President and the movement he created, a new contender has emerged…
(Sharon, PA) Local senior Marty Dixon said today he is ‘absolutely disgusted’ with the Pfizer vaccine shot he got because he was tired of his ‘crappy Verizon reception’ and was attracted by the idea of…
(Atlanta, GA) Georgia’s new voting law came into force today, prompting much outrage from those who say it seeks to limit voting freedoms to the GOP’s advantage. However the political effort was praised for its…
Following President Biden’s first press conference, the media faced accusations today of handling the President with kid gloves. “Sure, they grilled him about the pandemic and the border, but who was asking him how many…
Speaking about the shooting in a Boulder Colorado grocery store in which 10 people died, Mitch McConnell has said the assailant was clearly mentally ill, but it was impossible to predict in advance who would…
(Pittsburgh, PA) Local avian celebrities the Hays eagles today followed up on their dramatic live hatching of two new family members with news they are teaming up with local grocery chain Giant Eagle in a…
(Boulder, CO) Representative Lauren Boebert is in her home state today, after racing back to the site of a mass shooting so she could help the victims in their time of dire need. “I hated…
(Mar-a-Lago, FL) Florida health department officials warned today that there is a deadly dangerous pathogen loose in the Mar-a-Lago club in Palm Beach and cautioned the public to avoid contact lest they become infected. “You…
