Following rampant speculation on social media, former President Trump admitted today that he indeed was wearing his signature blue trousers back-to-front recently, though he declined to admit to any mistake. Instead he insisted that he…
FOX News presenter Tucker Carlson has been advised to take a break from the airwaves, after a recent run of high-profile episodes overtaxed his brain cell. “Most people have 100 billion brain cells to help…
Speaking to George Stephanopoulos on ABC’s This Week, the novel Coronavirus said the past few months had been extremely painful, and it had almost lost faith in its ability to keep going until until the…
Senior GOP members demanded today that Democrats join them in creating a bipartisan Congressional commission to investigate alleged chewing on a White House sofa by President Biden’s dogs, Champ and Major. “This blatant assault in…
Speaking on the Joe Rogan podcast, a loaf of Wonder Bread has insisted it won’t apologize for its lack of color despite what it claims is relentless pressure from the left to do so. Critics…
(Pittsburgh, PA) In a major upset, the Democratic primary election for mayor of Pittsburgh has been won by Ed Gainey, who defeated the incumbent, Bill Peduto. With no Republican having won since 1934 it effectively…
Just days after he signed a law limiting abortion to the first six weeks of pregnancy, a new proposal to abort Texas Governor Greg Abbott is garnering huge support nationwide. “We definitely need exceptions to…
(Pittsburgh, PA) As the fighting continues in the middle east, city residents today extended an invitation to the Israeli Defense Forces to blow up some tunnels in the Steel City instead of Gaza. “We can’t…
In great news for the fight against COVID, the United States has now reached full herd immunity after previously struggling to get a sizable vocal minority vaccinated. The move came after Dr. Fauci made an…
The Sergeant at Arms for the US Capitol has issued a warning to members of Congress and their staff about a big turd that may try to force itself through their letterboxes. The advisory came…
At townhalls and indoor arenas in more than 20 states, local GOP party officials today began their recount of the results of the 1932 election that propelled Franklin Delano Roosevelt to the White House in…
NIAID Director Dr. Anthony Fauci finally conceded his is a giant fraud today, and that all the accusations made about him by the right are 100% correct. “Back in high school in the 1950s I…
(Menlo Park, CA) Facebook has announced that its oversight committee has upheld a ban on a Russia-controlled account that had amassed a huge following. The company said it was determined not to become a tool…
(Mar-a-Lago) After teasing that he would be introducing a brand new social media platform to get his message out after being permanently banned from twitter and Facebook for managing to flout even their low standards,…
(Sharon, PA) A local Trump supporter and CDC critic laid into Dr. Fauci today for what he said is a totally incongruous position on the requirements to prevent the spread of COVID given recent medical…
(Azure Sector, Beta Quadrant) Representatives of the Romulan Empire confessed today to sharing their cloaking technology with the Black Lives Matter movement in advance of the Capitol Riot on January 6th following relentless insistence by…
Following its pause in the distribution of the J&J COVID vaccine over concerns it had lead to a small number of blood clots, the CDC has now paused the distribution of firearms after uncovering worrying…
Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell has announced his opposition to President Biden’s infrastructure plan, which he says will start opposing in earnest after a short vacation at the beach for his annual mating ritual. “Though…
Attorneys representing former Minnesota police officer Derek Chauvin indicated they would be pursuing a new line of defense going forward which they say completely exonerates their client. “Mister Chauvin’s only crime was mistaking his knee…
(Sharon, PA) A local man spoke out today about the pain of living in a state governed by a Nazi executive that is clearly out to get him and his kind. “To all those who…
