(Atlanta, GA) Local conspiracy theorist and permanently single man Derek Willard took barely 18 hours following the dramatic collapse of a section of interstate to start spouting ideas questioning the hidden hand behind the disruptive…
A politician who claims he wouldn’t ever dine alone with women other than his wife nevertheless had no problem getting down and dirty with all their vaginas this week. Called Mike Pence, he used his…
British Prime Minister Theresa May has signed the letter formally triggering the Article 50 process that will take the United Kingdom out of the European Unction. Though she tried to be upbeat, it’s clear to…
Former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn has reportedly reached an agreement to testify over Russian involvement in the Trump election campaign. The FBI readily agreed to immunity from federal prosecution, but Flynn didn’t seem too…
(Sharon, PA) Local senior Marty Dixon said today he is ‘absolutely disgusted’ by the actions of a Hawaiian federal judge that led to the continued blocking of President Trump’s travel ban by the U.S. Supreme…
The continuing slide of President Trump’s approval rating took a perplexing turn today as it dipped below 0% for the first time. Statisticians at Gallup admitted they had no idea how this could be as…
Now that they are officially breaking up, the EU is no longer holding anything back when it comes to their soon-to-be ex, the United Kingdom. “It’s not us it’s you. ALL YOU.” The EU couldn’t…
North Korea continued its strategy of provocation today with the announcement to its citizens of a fearsome new weapon that will have its enemies hiding in the shade. Clearly proud of the achievement, Kim Jong-un…
The White House was on lockdown today after a suspicious package was found on the south lawn. It was immediately checked out by a swat team, who called off the alert when it turned out…
A twelve-year-old farm girl has lamentably succumbed to injuries incurred while trying to prepare for a high-powered career on Wall Street by facing off against a temperamental bull on a neighbor’s property. “Sadly she took…
Taking its cue from President Trump’s decision to hand Germany an invoice for NATO services, the National Congress of American Indians has sent an invoice to the White House for 300 trillion dollars in unpaid…
A United Airlines gate agent denied boarding to a number of young girls ostensibly for wearing leggings. Those who put dresses on over them were allowed to board, while those with nothing else to wear…
German government sources have confirmed that President Trump did indeed make up a 300 billion dollar ‘NATO invoice’ which he presented to Chancellor Merkel when she was in Washington DC. The move is considered perplexing…
Describing the pie he ordered as ‘absolutely disgusting’, Paul Ryan’s family said he will never be in charge of family pizza night ever again. When it became clear that Ryan was struggling to come up…
With the America Health Care Act a failure, President Trump took to twitter to directly alert the public to the explosive danger Obamacare now posed. Asked if he was speaking metaphorically, Trump confirmed the worst….
(New York, NY) Starting Monday all white males seeking to enter New York City will be turned away at all ports, airports, and tunnels. Mayor Bill de Blasio said the travel ban was necessary following…
Celebrations within the Democratic party over President Trump’s defeat in trying to repeal Obamacare came to a sudden halt today when someone made the observation that millions of Trump supporters would now still be alive…
The failure of Republicans to put together the votes to pass the America Health Care Act is being described as a personal failure for Donald Trump, but he didn’t wait to give his side on…
With the promised repeal of the Affordable Care Act now dead in the water, President Trump is claiming he was a fan of Obama’s signature legislation all along. “No need to thank me all at…
The Trump/Ryan American Health Care Act that was intended to replace Obamacare has joined the Bowling Green massacre and Trump’s record-breaking inaugural crowd in the realm of pure fantasy, which has his opponents feeling much…
