It’s the same old story – Americans flush with cash want something illegal or in short supply and criminal elements appear to supply it. “First it was pot, then cocaine, and now eclipse glasses.” Demand…
A local man who does not wished to be named has said his turkey dinner may be the latest victim of Trump’s Presidency – which he enthusiastically supported until now. This is because he is…
President Trump has sent his regrets saying he is unable to make the traditional appearance at the Kennedy Center Honors as it conflicts with his own Trump Center Honors taking place on the same night…
It may not be exactly what fired Trump administration member Steve Bannon wanted, but being outside of the White House has its advantages, according to the former Chief Strategist. “At least now I can relax…
First the entire President’s arts council quit in protest at his recent remarks, and now a more critical desertion has taken place involving the subfloor of the Oval Office. “I cannot support this President in…
The President’s Chief Strategist in the White House, Steve Bannon, is leaving his position. Though rumors have spread that he was dismissed, Bannon says that working in the White House is very demanding and he…
The White House has released a statement on the Barcelona attack saying the President has been in touch with the Spanish government to convey his condolences. “Though this is a horrific attack, it appears that…
Though the Sun hates interfering in the details of planets – preferring instead to focus on gravitational orbits and providing heat and light – the President’s recent remarks about Charlottesville have proved too much for…
Senior White House advisor Steve Bannon was in buoyant form today, which he credits to President Trump for inspiring him to up his game by example. “I became lazy because I assumed I was the…
President Trump has revealed that he is a fan of the TV show Twin Peaks, after being asked what he thought about the death of Laura Palmer and the role of the Black and White…
In what is being described as a major embarrassment for city government, Baltimore residents awoke today to find all the city’s KFC restaurants had been demolished. Mayor Catherine Pugh explained it was the result of…
At a press conference today, a visibly drawn President Trump admitted he is exhausted by people constantly wanting him to be what he is not nor has ever represented himself to be. “Right after someone…
In a startling about-face, the White House has dropped its opposition to any form of socialized medicine and is now advocating for a pilot program specifically aimed at musculoskeletal ailments. The President was moved to…
Naturalists, both professional and amateur, are in a state of great excitement over the alleged sighting of a female of the genus Trumpus Proximitus, which is almost unheard of outside of mating season. “First the…
The company that makes Life Alert® – the medical alert system specifically designed to protect seniors from falls – has announced a special offer for those looking to protect monuments that they cannot be with…
BREAKING: President Trump broke from dinner moments ago to make a public statement after being informed that protestors in Durham, North Carolina, had toppled a Confederate statue early this evening. “Mere hours ago, a tragedy…
After taking only three days to come to the conclusion that murderous White Supremacy movements are bad, President Trump has announced the formation of a White House Diversity and Anti-Nazi Commission to show he means…
Days after entertainment giant Disney announced that it was migrating away from Netflix to develop its own streaming platform, Netflix is fighting back by attempting to discredit them via a twitter campaign. “Disney makes fake…
A local man has backed President Trump’s travel ban to keep out Muslims seeking to enter the United States. This is crucial, he maintains, to preserve the peaceful nature of the country he loves so…
Under continuing pressure to condemn White Supremacists in light of what happened in Charlottesville, VA, President Trump went on the record today to issue this statement directed at North Korean leader Kim Jong-un. “I’m going…
