With Russia’s 2018 Presidential election fast approaching, the question arises of how Vladimir Putin can prevent retaliatory meddling by the United States as payback for his astoundingly successful intervention in the 2016 election. A major…
President Trump said a hugely important healthcare milestone was reached today, as he triumphantly declared victory in the fight against AIDS councils. “Even since the late 1980s when President Reagan acknowledged AIDS existed, we have…
Defeated Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore has indicated he will contest the election that rejected him in favor of Democratic candidate Doug Jones. “Make no mistake, it’s going to be Senator Moore soon enough.” Moore…
President Trump has hit back against critics who say he spends too much time playing golf instead of governing the country. Speaking at the 18th hole of his luxury Mar-a-Lago course, Trump said golf provides…
It’s not such a Merry Christmas for the millions of supposedly savvy gamblers who took out bets years ago that Shane MacGowan wouldn’t make it to sixty, which he did today. “There’s going to be…
President Trump has declared a turning point in the War on Christmas, saying that people can finally say Merry Christmas again after years of it being a punishable offense leading to imprisonment, or even death…
Numerous reports are coming in from all over Pittsburgh that Giant Eagles are stuffed to the brim with aggressive last-minute shoppers determined that Christmas not be completely and utterly ruined because they don’t have thyme…
Among the many things notable about President Trump’s new challenge coin — which was thought to be designed by son Barron until people remembered he is eleven not three — is the removal of the…
President Trump sought to allay criticism of his alleged statement that all Haitians have AIDS by reminding everyone his information came from the world’s number one scientific expert on the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV). “This…
Planet Earth was shocked, but happily so, to realize today that it still exists in a recognizable form capable of sustaining life one full year into the Administration of Donald J Trump. Having resigned itself…
Elon Musk faced criticism today for expecting local residents to calmly and rationally deduce that the strange apparition in the sky above San Diego was connected to his falcon missile test. The rocket ingénue was…
Saying he was far too busy running the country to find time to get to the mall, President Trump told his reflection in the mirror that his Christmas present to himself would have to be…
Responded to charges that older models slowed down after upgrades, Apple initially put out a release today saying it’s because older phones have lower performing batteries, therefore it is necessary to throttle the power demand…
The Hall of Presidents at Walt Disney World finally is complete again with an animatronic President Trump unveiled after a long wait. The exhibit was shut in January with plans to open with the likeness…
After his nominee for U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia, Matthew Petersen, made an embarrassing appearance before the Senate Judiciary Committee, President Trump slammed the Senators involved for being so shortsighted. Petersen failed…
Russian President Vladimir Putin thanked President Trump today for providing intelligence that helped avert a terrorist attack, according to White House sources. Putin acknowledged on a phone call that the intelligence Trump provided had allowed…
A day after banning the CDC from using seven words and phrases including ‘evidence-based’, the White House has announced that the Law Of Gravitation will soon be optional in the United States. President Trump said…
As word spread that a former star of The Apprentice had been permanently booted out of the White House, crowds gathered in celebrations across the globe in scenes not witnessed since the end of World…
Alabama election officials are declaring a wild upset in the State’s race for the US Senate seat vacated by Jeff Sessions, with Democrat Doug Jones said to have defeated Republican favorite Roy Moore. “I can’t…
Proving that the charms of true Southern Gentlemen have not completely died out, Alabamans intending to vote for Senate candidate Roy Moore reminisced today about some of his finest qualities from his younger days. In…
