(London, UK) Mountains of fruit in perfectly rotten condition earmarked for President Trump’s visit to the United Kingdom will now have to be disposed of according to sources there, after the visit was cancelled. “They…
President Trump defended his behavior this MLK day by claiming playing golf was a perfectly valid way to honor the memory of Dr. King. “The best golfer I know is Tiger Woods and he’s one.”…
North Korean leader Kim Jong-un is taking an impromptu vacation following a false missile strike warning issued by US Authorities that had much of the population of Hawaii fearing their lives were about to end:…
(Oslo, Shithole) After being singled out by President Trump as a preferable source of immigration compared to ‘shithole’ nations like Haiti and many countries in Africa, Norway has taken the drastic step of renaming itself…
With the introduction of Normay today, a Scandinavian nation heretofore unknown to the world, the group of Trump Made Up Countries (TMUC) has decided to officially negotiate with the rest of the world as a…
President Trump’s admission that the United States has sold Norway a large number of fighter jets – including the formidable F-52 previously known only to players of the video game Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare…
Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents raided 7-Eleven stores across the country today leading to the arrest of scores of undocumented hot dogs who have been in hiding there for years if not decades. “In most…
The Washington Press establishment was treated to a once-in-a-lifetime event yesterday as President Trump allowed them to be present for the entirety of the greatest political gathering ever assembled in history. The hugely successful meeting…
The White House has confirmed that President Trump will undergo a medical evaluation this coming week, to be performed by a Dr. Nicholas Riviera. “Hi Everybody!” Dr. Riviera, who is quite well know to a…
Having been let go by Breitbart News Network, former White House chief strategist Steve Bannon said today that he will be returning to the Underworld rather than trying to find another job here on Earth….
Breaking the usual pattern of remaining above it all, God spoke directly to humanity today about a rise in scam artists preying on people’s religious inclinations. “If you want to give something to charity that’s…
A damper has been thrown on the idea of a President Oprah Winfrey by none other than the current incumbent, who today said the very idea of Oprah Winfrey running for high office is ridiculous….
Even since her performance at the Golden Globes, the prospect of an Oprah Winfrey Presidency has been gaining steam. However general enthusiasm turned to unbridled horror at where this could potentially lead. “What if she…
The Golden Globes have entered the world of Presidential politics following a speech by Oprah Winfrey that has spurred rampant speculation about a White House bid in 2020. “Clearly there’s a desire to have a…
Following a fire at Trump Tower in New York City, the President has revealed that his tax returns for the last 50 years were completely destroyed in the blaze. “They were all stored there in…
Firefighters in New York City are currently battling a fire at Trump Tower, though the President is not in residence and the building is not being evacuated. Investigators at the scene say they believe they…
Of all the fallout from Michael Wolff’s book Fire and Fury, perhaps the most serious concerns a spoof extract that claimed President Trump spends 17 hours a day watching a dedicated gorilla channel on cable…
With temperatures stuck in the single digits, Pitt Engineering major Jason Friese said he has been forced to dig through the clothes in his dorm to find the longest pair of shorts he has in…
Former U.S. representative Michele Bachmann recently announced she is considering running for Al Franken’s U.S. Senate seat, but must consult with God about it first. When reached for comment, the Almighty confessed he has already…
Fears that Donald Trump is the childlike capricious fool described in Michael Wolff’s book “Fire and Fury” were quelled by the President himself today on his twitter account: “I went from VERY successful businessman, to…