Those traveling on United Airlines should check the dates of their flights, as the company announced today it will have a one-day shutdown at the end of the month to train staff not to discriminate…
(Pittsburgh, PA) Saying Wednesday afternoons are a real drag during which it’s hard to stay awake, the Pittsburgh Police Department (PPD) admitted today to leaking riot plans in the event of President Trump firing Robert…
The advertising department of Fox News has requested that its sponsors be very clear during their angry phone calls which of its shows they are pulling ads from, as it’s getting hard to keep track….
Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson had said he wanted to meet the two African-American men at the center of the controversy enveloping his company to personally apologize. A meeting at another local area Starbucks was set…
The American Bar Association has awarded Michael Cohen the esteemed title of America’s Most Generous Lawyer, after it emerged today that he also had Sean Hannity as a client, but never required that he paid…
Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson has apologized for an incident in one of his Philadelphia stores where two African-American men waiting for their friend before ordering were arrested after the police were called. “In hindsight it’s…
Russian President Vladimir Putin has announced he has ordered his air force and the Baltic fleet to make preparations to attack a vile network of chemical weapons plants located in Flint, MI, in the United…
President Trump has declared his latest missile strike on the Syrian regime of Bashar al-Assad a success, even going so far as to declare it the best missile strike in history. “Nobody strikes with a…
A sign and banner store in the Washington DC area had a little excitement today when former FBI director and Special Counsel Robert Mueller stopped in to place an order. Owner Daisey Ferrente said they…
Donald Trump Jr, eldest son of the President and trustee of his business empire, has announced that the Trump Organization has won a lucrative contract to refurbish an airport in the Middle East. He was…
In an embarrassing mistake for the US military, one of the missiles launched against Syria has gone off course, hitting a Barnes & Noble that was due to host James Comey shortly. “Fortunately no-one was…
President Trump has followed through on his pledge to issue a robust response to the lastest use of chemical weapons in Syria, in a dramatic speech to the press this evening. Suspicions that a missile…
Paul Ryan’s retirement is getting off to a rocky start, after the Republican Congressman learned he is not receiving a generous pension from the NRA like he expected. Ryan said he assumed he was getting…
(Pittsburgh, PA) Century III Mall is scheduled to be auctioned off, meaning that the region’s iconic shopping complex that was once the envy of the nation is going to close down. The mall’s customer, Janice…
President Trump has issued a pardon to a very grateful Scooter Libby, the Dick Cheney aide who was convicted of perjury in 2007. Libby was reportedly delighted to receive clemency, and asked was there anything…
Former FBI director James Comey has published his memoirs, and is receiving criticism for what is being described as an undeserved hit-job on the mafia. “La Cosa Nostra may not be choirboys, but they surely…
During an intense grilling by Congress, social Media tycoon Mark Zuckerberg has given a performance that some say was less than forthcoming. According to those in attendance, when challenged about his company’s widespread sharing of…
In a ceremony in the White House today, President Trump officially conferred the rank of ‘Rabid Dog’ on his Secretary of Defense, General Mattis. Trump had initially selected the four star general to serve in…
President Trump has announced he will regrettably not be able to attend the White House Correspondents Dinner this year. The White House said the President was very keen to be present, but has been prevented…
There were tragic scenes in South Carolina today after Congressman Ralph Norman (R-SC) pulled out a loaded firearm during a constituency meeting about gun violence and was immediately shot dead by police. “It was over…
