Speaking with the New York Times, Speaker Paul Ryan has revealed he has concluded that President Trump was insulting him when referring to him as a ‘Boy Scout’. “I thought it was a compliment.” But…
(Pittsburgh, PA) For the first time in living memory for those not in the AARP, the city’s South Side neighborhood reportedly didn’t smell of vomit today, which is something many residents never thought would come…
LeBron James sought to put an end to his feud with President Trump today with a generous offer to save a place for him in the elementary school he is starting in Akron, OH. “I’ve…
President Trump has wasted no time responding to Vladimir Putin’s appointment of Steven Seagal, who is a Russian citizen, as Special Envoy to handle US-Russia relations. “It is my pleasure to announce that I am…
Speaking from beyond the grave, executed spies Julius and Ethel Rosenberg expressed their frustration at having been active agents for Russian interests during a time when, unlike now, it was actively frowned upon. “Talk about…
Royal watchers expressed surprise today at the Queen Elizabeth’s latest outfit, a canary yellow coat and matching hat, accessorized with a Lebron James Lakers jersey. When asked for comment, Buckingham Palace said there was no…
The National Rifle Association has announced that it is facing a severe funding crisis and that it may not be able to continue to exist. On hearing the sad news, Democrats across the nation pledged…
Following the uncovering of one of his spies working at the US Embassy in Moscow, Vladimir Putin has reportedly expressed concern that the Americans may be spying back on him too. He has subsequently ordered…
Following a flurry of questions by consumers about the President’s declaration that personal identification was needed to buy groceries in the United States, the White House today confirmed the requirement to present photo ID, and…
(Tampa, FL) Speaking at a Florida rally, President Trump reminded his salt-of-the-earth supporters of the well-known requirement to have a picture I.D. in order to buy bread at the store in the United States. “If…
