Local man Derrik Willis surprised his friends today by revealing the shocking costume he plans to wear for Halloween. “I’m calling it clean-shaven guy in jeans and a shirt.” Derrik says dismissed the idea at…
Adding to his legal woes, President Trump is now reportedly named in a lawsuit filed in the Federal District Court for the district of Columbia seeking an injunction and damages for copyright infringement. The suit…
As Pittsburgh struggles to recover from the horrific events of Saturday morning, Federal officials have informed the Peduto administration that a dangerous member of the Alt-Right may be making his way to the area as…
Saying all law-abiding Americans have a right to defend themselves, the National Rifle Association has called for changes to the Second Amendment to constitutionally guarantee the right to mail pipe bombs in light of recent…
(Meadville, PA) A local man said goodbye to friends and family today after realizing that the migrant caravan he has been following nonstop on FOX News was probably going to overrun the place he calls…
Officials of the great state of Florida expressed concern today after the FBI indicated their focus on the origin of pipe bombs mailed to leading Democratic figures had turned to the Sunshine State. “This is…
The increasingly desperate Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, Mohammed bin Salman, shifted tactics yet again today, and attempted to follow the Trump playbook of accusing his opponent of doing the very thing he is guilty…
With news coming out that Megyn Kelly has been let go by NBC following her unforced defense of the use of blackface at Halloween, former employer FOX News has suggested she could always return to…
As thousands of minivans owners awoke to find their pride and joy destroyed today, blame for the epidemic is being laid at the hands of supporters of President Donald Trump. “Only Dodge Caravans were targeted,…
After learning that former President Obama, Hillary Clinton, and other big-name Democrats had been targeted with explosive devices, Cory Booker has let it be known the situation is utterly unacceptable to him. “Where’s my pipebomb?”…
An inert Pershing II missile at the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum is cheering the impending U.S. withdrawal from the INF treaty signed by Ronald Reagan and Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev in 1987 to rid…
Describing it as the most exciting experiment since the discovery of the Higgs boson, physicists today announced they will be using the Large Hadron Collider at CERN to bombard Christ with the Anti-Christ. “Ever since…
President Trump has indicated he finds the Saudi explanation for the death of journalist Jamal Khashoggi credible. But far less impressed are local law enforcement departments across the United States, where the Crown Prince’s account…
The Government of Saudi Arabia has abruptly changed its story about the disappearance of U.S. resident and Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi, confirming that his death was their responsibility after all. “He had been causing…
President Trump has called for people not to rush to judgement after his press conference was interrupted by a Saudi delegation that dismembered and beheaded a significant fraction of the White House press corps. “Just…
The scientific community is celebrating today as it became aware of a powerful new resource, President Trump’s gut instinct, that it plans to exploit as much as possible from now on. NASA led the charge…
A day after threatening to raid Social Security to pay for the deficit run up by tax cuts for the rich, Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell’s battered body has been found under a large pile…
Though normally an enthusiast for President Trump’s rough-and-tumble tactics, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell urged caution and restraint today on learning that Trump had referred to Stormy Daniels as ‘horseface’. “No good can come of…
Elizabeth Warren is still recovering today after a DNA test she took to establish her Native American heritage revealed some shocking news she never expected. “It appears the Senator has 2% Trump DNA. Please give…
Trump has dismissed criticisms of his choice to hang an Andy Thomas painting of all the GOP Presidents in the White House, saying such a momentous gathering deserves to be honored. “What a great day…
