(The White House) First Lady Melania Trump has described rampant criticism of this year’s Christmas décor as wildly premature as she has not even finished it yet. “Once the dead goat heads and pentacles are…
An enormous immigrant caravan is holding celebrations across the United States to give thanks for the good fortune it has enjoyed since arriving here without valid visas hundreds of years ago. Though fairly small to…
Following warnings by health officials to avoid romaine lettuce due to fears of E.coli contamination, the National Lettuce Association (NLA) pushed back today saying they had overstepped their bounds. “How about you stay in your…
(Greene County, PA) On this Thanksgiving eve, a local family is yet again facing a once-a-year ritual that they feel they must endure in the name of kinship. “It’s our uncle – we love him…
Hillary Clinton was in a generous mood today as she offered Presidential First Daughter Ivanka Trump the top bunk bed when they are both incarcerated for using private email accounts to conduct government business. “She’s…
Fears are growing that an enormous crowd of immigrants hoping for new lives in the United States are dead, after they seemingly vanished into thin air in the aftermath of the midterm elections. “One minute…
(Washington, DC) Saying some things are more important that partisan politics, a Trump supporter who is a D.C. resident said today he would be happy to let newly elected Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez stay with him….
CNN thought they were being trolled today when a call came in from the White House requesting to speak to Jim Acosta. But it turned out to be Melania Trump who was trying to get…
French Premier Emmanuel Macron has hit back at President Trump after the US leader tweeted that they were learning to speak German in Paris before the Yanks came along. “The United States of America was…
On a day when regrets of war filled the news, a heartwarming story has emerged concerning an insecure employee who was worried about meeting with his boss, only to learn he was doing a good…
As moments of silence and solemnity were held in numerous countries today, WWI or the First World War announced that is doing away with what it calls its stupid nickname, ‘The War To End All…
(Belleau Wood, France, 11th November 2018) All was solemn in the Republic of France today as gentle rainfall everywhere marked the six hour anniversary of the victory over President Trump earlier in the day. “This…
With both sides trading different accounts of an incident during President Trump’s press conference that led to CNN reporter Jim Acosta’s credentials being revoked, people wondered today if the truth will ever be known. “Clearly…
Mayor Peduto has confirmed what many had suspected recently, namely that he is hoping to be cast in the role of Santa Claus in a local live-action remake of the 1964 stop-animation classic, Rudolf The…
(Pittsburgh, PA) Saying it was so hard to choose given the enormous gulf between the parties this year, an undecided voter has elected to give his backing to the candidate with the best sunlight image…
Reports are coming in of electronic voting machines across the country that are refusing to let ballots be cast according to people’s preferences. “Curiously, it only appears to affect voters with the name David.” Officials…
As voters across the United States prepare to head to the ballot box, multiple last-minute polls are pointing to the House switching hands while the Senate remains in the hands of the Russian Federation. President…
Though President Trump has been criticized for playing up the threat the migrant caravan – comprised of weak and pitiful desperate Central American men, women, and children still thousands of miles away – recent intelligence…
A local man is in a state of confusion today as to whether he is caught up on his favorite series, The Walking Dead. “I’d had a few beers so it’s a bit fuzzy.” He…
Normally midterm elections are very quiet compared to those in a Presidential election year, but all the signs are there that turnout will be very healthy this time. “The days of troller apathy are truly…
