Lawyers seeking to obtain President Trump’s DNA have said his anticipated refusal is not a problem, as they will instead get it by swabbing the lips of one of his many ass-kissers in the GOP…
Confronted with pictures of his border wall toppled by wind gusts, President Trump has angrily fired back by accusing the wind of doing this now to try to embarrass him during election season. “The timing…
As the question and answer session in the Impeachment Trial wore on today, a bored-looking Chief Justice Roberts – who has to read out all the questions himself – resorted to translating the anodyne queries…
The Senate Trial of President Trump yielded not just one but two new World records this week according to Guinness World Records. The organization said the new records won’t be formally announced until Justice Roberts…
Trump lawyer Alan Dersowitz got into his own bit of trouble today on the way to the Senate when he was seen by a DC official casually tossing his empty coffee cup onto the sidewalk….
Commerce Secretary and original inspiration for the phrase ‘Old Coot’ Wilbur Ross has managed to find the silver lining in the coronavirus that has already caused the death of over one hundred people and infected…
A visibly frustrated Justice Roberts scolded Senators during the question and answer portion of the Impeachment Trial for what he called an ‘undue proportion of questions’ asking if it was okay to go to the…
After decades of seemingly intractable conflict, the Middle East has reached a comprehensive peace settlement almost overnight. The historic achievement was reached after leaders there realized President Trump’s proposed peace plan for the region would…
The internet is captivated by an image NASA has released that depicts a close-up of the Sun’s surface. The ultra-high resolution image highlights features as small as 18 miles across, providing unprecendented detail. Trump Administration…
With the possible satellite collision above Pittsburgh only hours away, local Primanti Bros restaurants have reported being full to capacity and doing many times their normal business. “Everyone wants one last cheesesteak before they die.”…
Emergency rooms across the country are being stretched to breaking point with patients seeking help after being exposed to a new content platform ‘Knewz’ released by News Corp. Many complained of acute blindness and a…
President Trump has announced his perfect plan for peace in the Middle East, which he says is a huge step forward compared to the failed efforts of his predecessors. Trump added that, unlike them, he…
Jerry and Ann Searly of Irwin, PA, knew the day would come when they would have to make the painful decision to commit their IT manager son to a living facility more appropriate to his…
With Mitch McConnell uncertain if he has the numbers to block witnesses appearing at the Impeachment Trial in the Senate, the Majority Leader is making a pre-emptive concession to try to regain control of proceedings….
In yet another stroke of luck for author John Bolton, Russian President Vladimir Putin has offered him a blockbuster deal for his new book including ownership of copyright and all drafts in existence. “No price…
The mood in the White House took a giant turn for the worse today when Alan Dersowitz called to say he’s just learned of new evidence the Democrats are determined to enter into the record….
Saying he had to stay late to give the Senate Chamber a quick dusting, Mitch McConnell was discovered last night by colleagues from the other side affixing a net holding hundreds balloons to the ceiling….
Two satellites could collide over the City of Pittsburgh, according to a tracking site that monitors space junk. LeoLabs says one of the satellites is a decommissioned space telescope which is on course to possibly…
Saying he didn’t need to wait for the CDC before taking action to safeguard the health of Americans, President Trump today signed an executive order banning the sale of Mexican beer in the United States….
The highly competitive world of auto insurance advertizing is abuzz today with news that Allstate is changing up its popular campaign with a new face, former National Security Advisor John Bolton. Representatives for Allstate said…
