The Islamic Republic of Iran has confirmed that it shot down a loaded passanger jet headed for Kiev, after categorically denied the fact for days on end. “Oh, you meant THAT Ukrainian airliner.” President Hassan…
The internet is buzzing with news that a 17-year-old high-schooler working at NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Maryland discovered a planet just three days into his internship there. We spoke with senior scientist…
Good question! What IS The Burgh Report? The answer is we’re not 100% sure yet. But we love those National Inquirer covers and it’s just too much fun not to do a local version that…
(The White House) Citing its bravery when the moment of truth came, President Trump today awarded the Medal of Honor to the MQ-9 Reaper drone that killed Iranian General Quassem Soleimani. “You were not afraid…
After years of holding the honor of being the top object of the wrath of real Pittsburgers, Mayor Peduto’s bike lanes have been dislodged from their pedastal by a Google engineer writing in Public Source,…
Given the importance of President Trump’s latest speech on tensions between the United States and Iran, the White House has announced it will be releasing a version that will be more readily intelligible to Americans….
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell says it is high time the process of impeaching the President finds its conclusion in a Senate trial vote, and has indicated he is willing to make a major concession…
(Tehran) After suggesting they planned to go after Trump’s businesss reputation rather that target the United States as a whole, Iranian leaders today admitted defeat in their ploy to destroy the reputations of his hotels,…
Despite saying it would be his last time hosting, comedian Ricky Gervais has indicated he would be prepared to host the Golden Globes awards gala again, but on one condition. “I get to take a…
With all the talk of the drone strike on a senior Iranian military commander, the Lord Our God has admitted that even he nearly gave into the temptation of launching a lightening bolt strike recently,…
The Selective Service System has announced it has eliminated its age and sex requirements, meaning that all Trump supporters can now be called on to do their duty in time of war. “We figured the…
Following President Trump;s announcement that he had identified 52 potential targets – one for each of the American hostages held by Iran in 1979 – the Iranian leadership has likewise announced a retaliatory list of…
Straight up this is an ask – think of those annoying fundraisers on PBS. Still here? Of course you are. You’re smart. Not like everybody with a MAGA hat says, like a dumb libturd. You’re smart and…
Asked today what he thought about Trump’s drone strike on a top Iranian General, Presidential friend Kid Rock gave an answer that took everyone by surprise. “I’ve had a good while to think about this…
(Pittsburgh, PA) In a tragic story, a local man learned his New Year’s Resolution is on life support today in the ICU of West Penn hospital in Bloomfield. He is said to be extremely distraught,…
A dumspter filled to the brim with ‘Crackpot Castro’ signs has been spotted behind the White House waiting to be picked up with the rest of the trash. “Clearly this administration has been carefully preparing…
Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has issued a generous offer to current office holder Mike Pompeo after learning of the crowds that mobbed and breeched the US Embassy in Iraq. “I’ll be happy to…
The Newseum in Washington DC is set to close, after struggling to survive in recent years. Visitors to the capitol will still have plenty to do, however, and the nation’s first Fake Newseum is set…
(Vatican City) Pope Francis has clarified his earlier apology for slapping the hand of a pilgrim who forcefully grabbed him, saying it shouldn’t be taken as a sign that he will tolerate that kind of…
With many trying to keep to New Year’s resolutions to better their lives, a local piece of exercise equipment hopes to break out of the closet for the first time since being placed there during…
