Saying it’s bad luck to leave ornaments out beyond the holiday they are celebrating, President Trump put Ben Carson back in storage today until next Black History Month. “It was great having Ben out on…
(Cranberry, PA) A local Trump supporter expressed dissatisfaction with her local Barnes & Noble today when she couldn’t find a single copy of the novel coronavirus which she has been looking forward to getting her…
Asked for his thoughts on the 2020 election today, Russian leader Vladimir Putin said he believes the incumbent Donald Trump may not deserve re-election. “I am definitely open to installing a different stooge this time.”…
(Houston, TX) Medical Professionals at the John S Dunn Burn Center at the Memorial Hermann Medical Center have confirmed the they are treating the junior Senator from Texas, Ted Cruz, who was admitted late last…
After days of relentless accusations by Rush Limbaugh, White House Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney, and the rest of the right wing media, the coronavirus known as COVID-19 admitted today that everything they are saying…
The first full meeting of Mike Pence’s coronavirus task force failed to make much headway today, as members failed to agree on a number of key issues. Problems began almost immediately when a microbiologist, during…
Hot on the heels of his inspired selection of Vice President Mike Pence to contain the spread of the coronavirus within the United States, President Trump today announced his next great leap forward in combating…
Coronavirus czar Mike Pence has wasted no time getting down to business as he met with leading medical experts today to learn the scale of the task he has been entrusted with by President Trump….
(The White House) Following the appointment of Mike Pence to be his coronavirus czar, President Trump today described the steps already taken by him and his staff to prevent transmission of the deadly pathogen. “I…
Vice President Mike Pence said during a White House press conference that he has drawn up a comprehensive plan of attack to contain coronavirus infections in the United States. “No thoughts or prayers will go…
(Atlanta, GA) The CDC today singled out the band Slipknot for its preparedness given the potential for the coronavirus becoming a worldwide pandemic. “These sensible heavy metal musicians have adopted protective measures against the spread…
(Agra, India) Following his successful trip to India, President Trump has indicated he will be instigating legal proceedings against the government there after they showed him a tourist site that he claims was a direct…
The state visit of President Trump to India is said to be off to a great start. However that is being threatened due to a perceived slight Trump says he is not pleased about regarding…
Following his very convincing Nevada win, members of the Democratic establishment expressed delight today at how much Bernie Sanders was energizing voters to come out and engage in the political process to oppose Donald Trump….
Firm democratic frontrunner Bernie Sanders confessed to having a brief wobble today when a North Face jacket display briefly caught his eye while on the campaign trail and he momentarily thought he should get one…
CBS executives have announced an exciting new sitcom featuring Mike Bloomberg and Rod Blagojevich to be rushed into production called ‘OWNED’. They expect it to be rapidly embraced by the viewing public as one of…
Sensing there may still be an opening for a newcomer in the Democratic race, former Pennsylvania senator and failed Republican Presidential candidate Rick Santorum has undergone a dramatic change to revive his political fortunes. “Clearly…
It didn’t take long for the other candidates to turn on Mike Bloomberg during the Democratic debate in Las Vegas, and the subject of sexual harrassment quickly came up. The billionaire was put on the…
There was a dramatic aftermath to the Democratic Debate in Las Vegas when police turned up to investigate multiple calls about a violent takedown that left an elderly white male’s primary hopes in tatters. “The…
Accepting her 2020 Woman of Distinction Award from Palm Beach Atlantic University, First Lady Melania Trump warned of the dangers of social media and some of the horrible things you can encounter on platforms like…
