With her solitary delegate from her home turf of American Somao, an optimistic Tulsi Gabbard today looked beyond the Super Tuesday results when she told her supporter there was a clear path to the nomination…
Following a dismal Super Tuesday performance – despite pouring half a billion of his own personal funds into his campaign – Mike Bloomberg has quit the race for the Democratic nomination, saying the best way…
The Los Angeles Chargers have offered Jill Biden a $10 million dollar contract to play right guard, the NFL team’s front office announced today, and they hinted that figure can go up if necessary. “Jill…
As the extent of the failure of his Super Tuesday became apparent, Mike Bloomberg received some good news today after learning he won the American Samoa caucus and is projected to receive four of the…
The Afghanistan peace deal appears to be back on following some uncertainty after President Trump held a call with the leader of the Taliban political office today. Trump commended them on their toughness and dangled…
Constellation Brands – the company that brews Corona Light and Corona Export beer – has lowered performance expectations for the next quarter, citing unusual market conditions and that fact that 38% of the American public…
(Atlanta, GA) As if dealing with the coronavirus wasn’t hard enough, CDC officials warned today that a new deadly virus is suspected to be spreading throughout the United States, though they wish to reassure people…
Proving that there’s nothing more satisfying than successfully pulling off a good ruse, more committed pranksters killed themselves today to perpetuate the appearance of a deadly viral outbreak that has much of the world totally…
(Pittsburgh, PA) Word has leaked early of a major public works project to begin later this year with a projected end date sometime in the late 2020s. The mammoth undertaking will carve the likenesses of…
The political world is being rocked by a dispute between the original band members of Public Enemy over the group’s appearance at a high-profile Bernie Sanders rally in California. Though Chuck D and official Public…
As speculation mounts over why he quit the race when he did, Pete Buttigieg has put to rest theories that he has been tapped as Biden’s running mate or that he wanted his supporters’ votes…
As he formally suspended his campaign following a poor showing in South Carolina, Pete Buttigieg rued that his dreams of becoming President are rapidly slipping away. “Sadly I may only have ten to twelve more…
To boost the confidence of an anxious public, the White House today released a photo of the coronavirus task force hard at work to safeguard the public and prevent community transmission. Inside sources reported that…
In order to dispel any notions that he is not being heplful, God said today he has been passing Mike Pence’s repeated requests for help with the coronavirus outbreak on to the Centers for Disease…
After being touted as the answer to containing the spread of coronavirus in the United States, heavy metal band Elements Of Medical today informed President Trump via twitter that it was unable to be of…
