Amazon stock (NASDAQ:AMZN) hit new heights today, closing at $3,859.21 on news of the latest innovation in the e-commerce company’s relentless drive to ever-increasing efficiency. Following a successful pilot scheme, it plans to install Squid-Game-style Robot Girls in all of its warehouses to encourage workers to increase productivity even further. The move is the brainchild of founder Jeff Bezos, which came to him when he finally caught up with hit Netflix K-drama.
“I thought – this is a much better method than the brutal points system I’ve been using up to now!”
He immediately ordered his design time to create fully functional versions of the Robot Girl seen in episode one, which are being installed in all of Amazon’s distribution centers. Bezos explained how the game of Red Light Green Light would be altered to improve efficiency.
“In the show the Robot Girl would kill you only if it saw you move while its eyes were open. In my version it monitors you continuously and shoots you dead whenever it detects you’re not shifting packages fast enough.”
In a further boost to the company’s bottom line, all the killings will be viewable on Amazon Prime.
“Forget Netflix – there are now hundreds of real Squid Games streaming continuously on Amazon Prime for your entertainment. Enjoy!”
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