The announcement that Amazon is looking to set up a second 5 billion dollar headquarters has cities all across the United States vying for its attention.

But after determining that no domestic major metropolitan area met all his requirements, CEO Jeff Bezos was at a loss how to proceed – until he had a blinding revelation.

“I realized the answer was staring me in the face all along!”

With large areas of undeveloped rainforest, the Amazon would provide all the office space he needed, and though he would have to ship in steel and glass to build it, the rustic wood finishing beloved by the hipsters he hopes to attract could be sourced locally.

“It’s all right there! We just need to cut it down with some Snapper XD Cordless 18-Inch Chainsaws available for $185 with prime shipping.”

Also, building the entire city infrastructure from scratch would have its own advantages, and would allow Bezos to finally break into the construction industry – a long time goal.

“There were some indigenous people who were unhappy at first, but then I gave them Fire HD tablets and a one year Prime subscription and they were fine with it.”