The news that Sarah Sanders is stepping down as White House Press Secretary had barely started to circulate when a surprise announcement that Beaker would be replacing her was met with approval even from the President’s harshest critics.
“Finally competence is taking hold.”
Though some expressed surprise at the Muppet’s appointment to the role, more seasoned observers of the Trump administration insist this is good move.
“When Beaker speaks, though it sounds alarming, you can’t actually discern what he is saying – which is a vast improvement over his predecessors.”
Concerns that this was a trivial appointment based on Beaker sharing his hair color with the President were quickly dispelled during his first appearance at the podium where he exuded confidence.
“Meep meep meep meep MEEP!”
Beaker is considered an ideal person for the notoriously difficult job as he is used to dealing with chaotic environments, and doesn’t get fazed when he is doused in boiling water, being electrocuted, or dealing with the fallout of Trump’s latest twitter bombshell. In particular he is expected to be much more forthright and honest with the press than Sanders has been.
“Being babbled at incomprehensibly is infinitely preferable to being straight-up lied to all the time.”
Meanwhile Kellyanne Conway, whose removal has been recommended for repeatedly violating the Hatch Act, is coming under considerable pressure to step aside to make room for Miss Piggy.
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