Appointment Of Beaker As New White House Communications Director Draws High Praise

The Trump Presidency appears to finally be finding its groove after what was arguably one of its rockiest weeks. The downgrading of security clearance for Jared Kushner coupled with the ongoing fallout from Rob Porter’s departure was taking its toll, leading to the resignation of Hope Hicks as communications director.

However calm appears to have be restored with the announcement that Beaker will takeover from Hicks, assuming the role famously once held by Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci.

“Finally competence is taking hold.”

Though some expressed surprise at the Muppet’s appointment to the specific role of communications director, more seasoned observers of the Trump administration insist this is good move.

“When Beaker speaks, though it sounds alarming, you can’t actually discern what he is saying – which is a vast improvement over his predecessors.”

Concerns that this was a trivial appointment based on Beaker sharing his hair color with the President were quickly dispelled during his first appearance at the podium where he exuded confidence.

“Meep meep meep meep MEEP!”

Beaker is considered an ideal person for the notoriously difficult job as he is used to dealing with chaotic environments, and doesn’t get fazed when he is doused in boiling water, being electrocuted, or dealing with the fallout of Trump’s latest twitter bombshell.

“It looks like a corner has been turned at long last.”

34 Comments on "Appointment Of Beaker As New White House Communications Director Draws High Praise"

  1. Wonderful news! Beaker will be a huge improvement. For one thing, he is incapable of telling a lie. As for grammar, I would have gone with “calm appears to have been restored” rather than “calm appears to have be restored,” but that’s just because I am a native English speaker.

  2. Just what the doctor ordered or Trump. Someone whose ass he can have his hand up and work their mouth.

  3. Great post! Have nice day ! 🙂 ugdxs

  4. Does Trump use Sesame tweet?

  5. Tom McLaughlin | August 8, 2017 at 12:43 am | Reply

    What about Ms. Piggy as Secretary of Education and Fashion, Big Bird,Kermit or Snuffleoffigus as Secretary of the Environment, the Count as Treasury Secretary and Cookie Monster as Secretary of Energy

  6. FEEnely a cummuonicetiuns durectur I cuon understuond! Bork Bork Bork!

  7. Funny and I would have reposted but I don’t put language on my page like that used in the article. Too bad.

  8. Given Trump’s refusal to accept basic science, this story appears to be fake news.

  9. Phil Innamorati | August 4, 2017 at 1:02 pm | Reply

    Well, with a Muppet as President; this seems to be a very sensible appointment…

    I think that there should also be a post for Animal; in either a military or diplomatic advisory role…

  10. michael Watson (Uk) | August 4, 2017 at 2:52 am | Reply

    Phased! Absolutely phased. As in when something is out of phase. Off kilter, awry, etc. etc.

    • faze, transitive verb
      : to disturb the composure of : disconcert, daunt Nothing fazed her. Criticism did not seem to faze the writer.

      phase, transitive verb
      1: to adjust so as to be in a synchronized condition
      2: to conduct or carry out by planned phases
      3: to introduce in stages —usually used with in phase in new models

      (source: Merriam-Webster)

  11. Rohan Candappa | August 4, 2017 at 2:45 am | Reply

    Beaker’s just resigned.

  12. Constance Chandler | August 3, 2017 at 7:42 pm | Reply

    In that White House anything is an improvement. How about an Australian or a Canadian…….

  13. A welcome change from their previous Communications Director: Animal.

  14. Is there a role somewhere for Animal?

  15. Don’t insult Beaker! He would never work for Trump

  16. I always thought he just said ‘Me me me me me me me’. Which makes him a perfect fit for the Trump White House, as that’s essentially all Trump says anyway.

  17. Oh thank you so much for that! But really, what about Kermit for President. He would be a good fit.

  18. Thank your, English Teacher And Gulliver.

  19. English Teacher | August 2, 2017 at 2:47 am | Reply

    “Fazed,” not “phased.”

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