Arizona Jaguar Claims It Acted In Self-Defense During Frightening Home Invasion

Image credit: 'Jaguar' by user Cburnett via COmmons license CC BY-SA 3.0.

A jaguar at an Arizona zoo that is charged with mauling a visitor has stated through its attorney that it was acting purely in self defense.

“My client was relaxing at home when suddenly an intruder appeared. It only did what any reasonable big cat would do under similar circumstances.”

The jaguar said it had to use its bare claws to fend off the intruder as it cannot easily hold a baseball bat, and is not legally allowed to own firearms or a stun gun, which could have been used as a deterrent.

“To those who say it could have hissed instead, the truth is everything happened very quickly and my client was in fear for its life.”

The jaguar has since been informed it won’t be charged, which is a relief as it could have faced the death penalty, as was the case with Harambe the gorilla.

“If people would simply stop breaking into other people’s homes none of this unpleasantness need ever occur.”

29 Comments on "Arizona Jaguar Claims It Acted In Self-Defense During Frightening Home Invasion"

  1. Does Arizona HAVE Castle laws?
    I am always on the side of the animal when such nuttiness happens.

  2. I LOVE this article! It had me rolling! It’s pure unadulterated stupidity for that chick to break into a Panther enclosure for any reason, but to do it just to get a damn selfie is a level of stupidity that is so rare that a word hasn’t been invented for it. The stupidity of some people is utterly baffling. Great article though. I wish all news could be told this way, and then maybe I might enjoy reading/hearing it more often. Lol

  3. Beth Vezzosi | March 13, 2019 at 5:22 pm | Reply

    In the Americas, jaguars and Panthers are the same species. It gets complicated in other locations in the world.. so depending on where this animal is from, it most likely is AKA a panther.

    • Yep. Panther is a generic term to describe any large black cat of the genus panthera. What most people in the Americas think of as a panther is actually a black jaguar. Jaguars are the only large cat native to the Americas. In other areas of the world, a black leopard is sometimes referred to as a panther.

    • If it’s in the Carolinas, it’s a panther. If it’s in Jacksonville, it’s a jaguar.

  4. Love this article. Had me laughing like crazy. Great to know there are still people out there with a sense of humor.

    • Beth Vezzosi | March 13, 2019 at 5:25 pm | Reply

      Completely agree! Sad that this big kitty is smarter than a certain human who can’t follow simple instructions. She’s right about one thing – the barriers do need to be further back… for people like her, the barriers should be outside of the animal park.

  5. A black cougar… that’s a beautiful animal… ; )

  6. If only this attorney would represent the unborn child. As the Dr. giving the abortion is invading its home. Same scenario.

  7. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THAT CAT PRAYED A DUMBASS WOULD SOMEHOW END UP IN HIS ENCLOSURE??? PRAYER ANSWERED!! LOL!

  8. In a “comical” turn of events a white woman threw trash into his yard to prevent him from holding another white womans hand. Not surprisingly he is already behind bars for being a Jaguar while black.

  9. The animal avoided legal prosecution because it’s black. If it was white the full weight of the war would have come down upon the animal

  10. Cruel to keep these magnificent creatures in compounds for witless peeps to look at.

    • So them being in the wild and killed is better! You all can live in your fairytale world but in the REAL world, animals can not live in the wild because garbage humans kill and poach them. I’ll have animals in a GOOD zoo any day over being hunted and killed in the wild.

  11. I have never seen a totally black jaguar before. I live in AZ where there are currently at least two male jaguars in the hills, as seen by cameras. Neither are black. Is this a black leopard, commonly called a “black panther”?

    • It’s in a zoo. The woman crossed a barrier/fence to take a selfie at the zoo.

      • Black and spotted jaguars are the same breed just a color variation. The spotted are more common. Although the jaguar is a very close relative of the cougar, they are a South American native.

    • She’s not black. I’m not sure why thr news articles keep showing the panther.

  12. If you enter a dangerous predators enclosure you must definitely know what is going to happen to you

  13. Awesome to know the Jag has an attorney that is smarter than the system!

  14. You are a genius. This wins the internet today.

  15. If only there were such advocates for animals. There would be more beautiful animals in the world.

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