Aspiring School Shooters Apply En Masse For Teaching Certificates

Image credit: 'Gun Wall' by Flickr user Michael Saechang license CC BY-SA 2.0.

President Trump has had his greatest jobs stimulation success to date after saying teachers should be armed in response to the Florida school shooting. The Teachers Union says the response has been incredible.

“Usually we struggle to attract people to this profession given the low pay but we’ve had a wave of applications for teaching certificates ever since the President proposed arming teachers.”

The new applicants seem particularly focused on two areas.

“There’s a definite preference for physics and mid-twentieth century history.”

They also don’t appear to be turned off by many of the problems plaguing an overburdened public education system.

“Large student-to-teacher ratios don’t seem to bother them. Quite the opposite in fact.”

But most impressive is their enthusiasm to get qualified and into the classroom.

“This nice young man positively bombarded me with questions about his first appointment like when do I get my free gun, what caliber is it, and how much does the magazine hold. I must admit it made me feel quite ignorant.”

Be the first to comment on "Aspiring School Shooters Apply En Masse For Teaching Certificates"

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.