Asked today about his thoughts on the upcoming midterm elections in November, Vladimir Putin expressed confidence that his party would gain seats in both chambers of Congress. “There had better be given all the resources…
(Pittsburgh, PA) So you accepted an invitation to your co-workers party on Sunday and – because you know absolutely nothing about sports – didn’t realize it was to watch the Super Bowl. Obviously you can’t cancel,…
Rap artist and occasional Presidential candidate Kanye West – who currently goes by ‘Ye’ – has demanded that the streaming service Spotify delete songs other than his own or he’s leaving. West had a ready…
(Washington, DC) There were awkward scenes at the National Prayer Breakfast today after one of the main attendees, God, failed to turn up on time. Politicians, religious leaders and assorted deities milled about not knowing…
With Pittsburgh wondering exactly what happened to the predicted afternoon freezing rain conditions that prompted widespread closings today, local station WTAE said it was switching up its forecasting method in a bid to be more…
(Punxsatawney, PA) The annual tradition of Groundhog Day has been thrown into chaos on the event of the event after famed rodent meteorologist Punxsutawney Phil said he will not say whether he sees his shadow or…
As part of its acquisition of the hugely popular word game, WORDLE, the New York Times has announced it will be releasing a two-letter version of the game so that Trump supporters can enjoy it…
After previously granting high profile covers to both Jill Biden and Kamala Harris while snubbing Melania Trump during her time in the White House, VOGUE magazine has made its latest – and arguably most hurtful…
The solitary Spotify subscriber who listens to both Joe Rogan’s podcast and Neil Young’s music said today he is torn over what to do after the Canadian singer said the streaming service had to choose…
(The White House) As Russia continues to amass troops and military hardware along its border with eastern Ukraine, President Biden today announced substantial measures that he is taking to deal with the situation. Flanked by…
(Cliffside Park, NJ) Friends and family of Dr. Mehmet Oz expressed concern today for the TV personality. Though they have long felt something was mentally ‘off’, a recent incident involving his run for office and…
(Pittsburgh, PA) After the successful introduction of its oversized powered recliner seating with folding food trays, Cinemark has announced the next level of comfort cinema viewing will be available at its Settler’s Ridge location from…
(Mountain View, CA) Alphabet Inc. [NASDAQ: GOOGL] – the parent company of Google – has announced plans to become an accredited degree-granting institution. CEO and inaugural Google University President Sundar Pichai explained that the company…
(Pittsburgh, PA) A local shortage of folding and plastic chairs due to disruptions in the global supply chain has thrown the city’s intricate residential parking priority system into chaos, according to reports. Mayor Ed Gainey…
STEELERS BRIEF: Saying he was keen to get on with the next chapter of his life, Ben Roethlisberger has elected to turn into an unfit bloated shell of his former self on the very first…
Popular coffee purveyor Starbucks has announced new measures to halt the spread of the coronavirus, including direct delivery of coffee without using disposable cups. “Though we previously merely banned personal cups, we now recognize that…
What was otherwise shaping up to be another perfect MLK day of celebrating America’s most beloved pastor by a group a friends was ruined today when one of their number deviated from the standard practice…
STEELERS BRIEF: Following up on his statement that the Steelers ‘don’t stand a chance’ in their unlikely wild card game against the Kansas City chiefs, Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisburger today confirmed he would be taking…
MOSCOW BRIEF: Russian Premiere Vladimir Putin cleared his calendar today after reportedly being dissatisfied with his ‘surprised’ face which he expects to use in the coming days or weeks. Though Putin is long skilled in…
(Washington, DC) Police charged with protecting the US Capitol and the politicians and their staffers who work there say they are investigating numerous reports of missing spines that came in on the occasion of the…
