In what is being described as a major embarrassment for city government, Baltimore residents awoke today to find all the city’s KFC restaurants had been demolished.
Mayor Catherine Pugh explained it was the result of an order to urgently remove all Confederate monuments in light of recent events.
“I acknowledge the severity of the situation and am seeking to fix it as soon as possible. Nobody should be without KFC.”
Under pressure to take down all Confederate monuments overnight, it appeared workers were forced to make snap judgments and took their wrecking balls to the fried chicken fast food chain.
“In our defense, Colonel Sanders does look a lot like General Robert E Lee.”