Bernie Loses His Shit When He Learns Justin Bieber Not Among The 170 Economists Endorsing Him

Image credit: 'Bernie Sanders Franklin NH' by Marc Nozell via Commons CC BY 2.0.

After a surprise announcement to introduce 170 people who had endorsed his economic reform plan, Bernie Sanders was hugely disappointed to learn that they were all actual economists – a detail no-one had thought to make clear to him.

“You’re kidding me. So no Biebster?”

After his staff clarified that it was Justin Bieber he was referring to, they confirmed that the Canadian pop star wasn’t a supporter of his redistribution plan, quite possibly because he is a multimillionaire.

“Hey, I’ll promise him a special tax exemption so he can buy all the weed and monkeys he desires if that’s what it takes. Just get him to belieb in me!”

Sanders’ anger has it roots in the fact that, despite being a policy wonk himself, he knows all too well that even other economists are bored by economists.

“Have you ever read a Paul Krugman column? Total snooze fest – and he’s one of the more exciting ones.”

His disappointment was all the greater because he’d assumed the 170 would include not just Justin Beiber, but a whole host of popular celebrities.

“I was so sure you were you going to tell me that Lady Gaga was hopping on the Bernie bus. She’s a sizzler!”

They were finally able to cheer him up when they pointed out that Bill Clinton’s former Labor Secretary, Robert Reich, was on the list, which was sure to incense Hillary.

“Sweet!”

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