Bernie Sanders To Hold Fundraiser Featuring Franzia Boxwine In Actual Cave

Fearing his was missing out on attracting important donors, Bernie Sanders is holding his own wine cave dinner.

“I have to stay ahead of Mayor Pete.”

The invitation to the gala event includes the GPS co-ordinates of the cave, though Sanders warns his guests to leave plenty of time.

“It’s not so easy to get to but the price is right.”

Attendees are advised to bring their own folding chairs if they don’t want to stand, but they will be able to feast on unlimited saltines and Franzia boxwine.

“I’ll be serving three vintages – white, sweet red, and rose. The best part is just when you think it’s run out, you simply tip the box and there’s always more!”

Though he agreed with his advisors to hold the upscale fundraiser, Sanders does fear it could upset his traditional base.

“I already bought myself a new blue sweater at TJ Maxx the other day so this could be the last straw.”

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6 Comments on "Bernie Sanders To Hold Fundraiser Featuring Franzia Boxwine In Actual Cave"

  1. Therese Johannesson | January 2, 2020 at 7:37 pm | Reply

    I love Bernie’s campaign humor regarding his opponent’s fundraising! Good move! When they go big donor, we go silly. President Sanders all the way!!

  2. I would hang out in a cave drinking box wine and eating saltines with Bernie any day!

  3. I would love to attend this! Sounds like fun.

  4. Thank you for bringing true hope to us, both in your tireless work on OUR BEHALF, AND showing us how to find both the sadness & HUMOR in the pretensious displays of wealth corruption brings to politics. You are showing all our people that WE must MANAGE & REGULATE the rich so that they never again can burden society with their relentless, never ending GREED. YOU, sir, DESERVE that new sweater from TJ MAXX. ❤️❤️❤️

  5. Nice – Franzia is union made! #bernie2020

  6. I would legit go spelunking if Bernie was hosting a cave rally near me.

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