Beto O’Rourke Quits Race Saying Thanks For The Six Million

Texas politician and Democrat heartthrob Beto O’Rourke has quit the 2020 race for President almost as soon as he entered it, after raising a record six million dollars in 24 hours.

“Gotta go guys, but thanks for the six mil!”

Asked why he quit so early, O’Rourke cited his inexperience, lack of policy ideas, and belief there were many other far more qualified candidates.

“Oh yeah, and this six million bucks I have now.”

While O’Rourke said he enjoyed his narrowly lost race against Ted Cruz, he said he had nothing better to do then, unlike now.

“I bet you can have a nice time in Monaco with this kind of dough.”

When challenged that he would be wasting people’s money, O’Rourke said this was for the best.

“Look, I’m not going to win either way, so do you want it to go to some fat cat media conglomerates or some hard working waiters and bell hops in Europe’s finest hotels?”

2 Comments on "Beto O’Rourke Quits Race Saying Thanks For The Six Million"

  1. This is satire?

  2. Adios, pendejo

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