Betsy DeVos learned today that she has not made enough progress to start her second year as Secretary of Education, and will have to retake her first year instead.

“Sadly, Ms DeVos did not achieve anything close to what is required to move on to year two of heading this Department.”

Though regarded as woefully unprepared when she started, teachers had hoped she would settle in and at least do enough to pass.

“The unfortunate truth is that she did anything but.”

The cited her report card which indicates failing grades and gross absenteeism.

“If she keeps on like this we’ll have no choice but to expel her.”

When reached for comment, DeVos said she had a really good statement prepared but the dog ate it.