Betsy DeVos Says Flat Earth Theories Have No Place In Schools “That’s college level science”

Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos said today that flat Earth theories and the Book of Genesis have no business being taught in the public school system she oversees.

“The science involved is far too difficult for high school – even I struggle with it!”

She insisted it was still important to understand how our disk-shaped home was made by God in seven days, but that it should be taught in college instead.

“When my yacht was cast adrift in the open ocean I was so worried it would fall off the edge. Fortunately it didn’t thanks to all the engineers and scientists who did the calculations with the numbers.”

DeVos said she was open to honors students being allowed to elect to study flat Earth ocean dynamics if they had a perfect GPA.

“You need to be super smart to understand the equations that explain why all the water doesn’t just slide off!”

Help a poor hardworking satire site out!

6 Comments on "Betsy DeVos Says Flat Earth Theories Have No Place In Schools “That’s college level science”"

  1. Satire font! Love it!

  2. Semiautodidact | November 12, 2019 at 3:13 am | Reply

    welcome to Peak Stupid, USA

  3. Kevin Burdeshaw | November 11, 2019 at 6:22 pm | Reply

    You know ‘Merica has jumped the Shark when you can’t tell from reading the headline whether or not this is satire.

  4. Really ? This is easy to explain to a ten year old.

    • Yes, the Vikings had the answer, it was held together by the giant snake, “Midtgardsormen”, who was curling around the whole earth disk, keeping all in place.
      No math involved, only a great snake.

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