Bill Barr Chains Himself To Ground Claiming Evidence Of Gravitation “Inconclusive”

Attorney General Bill Barr has asked colleagues at the DOJ to be patient with him, as he has decided to permanently tether himself to the Earth, which makes getting around more difficult.

“Better safe than sorry.”

Barr said he had been musing on the theory of gravitation developed by Newton, as well as his own personal experience of walking upon the Earth for almost seven decades without floating off into space.

“At this time the evidence for Gravity is inconclusive.”

Asked what it would take to persuade him anchoring himself to the planet was not necessary, Barr was very clear.

“You simply need to convince me that objects with mass are colluding to attract each other through the gravitational field.”

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