Bitterly Cold Washingtonians Seeking Hot Air Gather Around President

(Washington, DC) As the polar vortex causes temperatures to plunge, residents of Washington DC are seeking hot air anyway they can, with thousands of them gathering around President Trump.

“Keep talking Mister President.”

Happy to oblige, Trump is regaling the growing crowds, even allowing them to approach him one by one and rub their frigid hands together in front of his face.

“I also like to thank all the homeless for coming to hear me speak today. Didn’t know you were fans of mine. But it’s great. So great.”

Trump has cleared his schedule so he can keep expounding on all his signature issues, like immigration, the need for a wall, and how stealth fighter jets really are invisible to the naked eye.

“I never felt such love. So much love!”

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