Though Judge Kavanaugh himself has yet to comment publicly on the matter of the upcoming hearings regarded accusations of sexual assault, his penis said today that it was looking forward to a free and open discussion of the matter.
“It’s important that these things be brought out into the open.”
While there has been much argument between legal teams and the committee over who should go first, Kavanaugh’s penis is of the opinion that he and all his accusers should have a joint hearing together.
“I want all these women to have the chance to look me square in the eye.”
The Kavanaugh member concluded with a heartfelt statement.
“I have never been one to hide from things, and I don’t plan to start now.”