Bust Captures Essence Of Former Vice President Dick Cheney

News Brief: As is tradition for all former Vice Presidents, a bust of warmonger and dubious shot Dick Cheney was unveiled in the U.S. Capitol Building on Thursday.

Artist William Behrends was nervous at the unveiling, as he wasn’t sure whether he had captured the true essence of his subject with the white marble bust.

Incumbent VP Joe Biden, who was also in attendance, quickly put Behrends’ mind at ease.

“It’s a cold unfeeling lump of stone and Patrick Leahy swears it told him to fuck off. Well done.”

Next Cheney is due to be honored with a sculpture of his iron ass.

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