California Wildfires Worsen After Trump Throws Paper Towels At Them

(Sacramento, CA) Firefighters described a worsening situation in Northern California today, after a visit by President Trump during which he added fuel to the raging blazes.

“We asked him to help us and he just started throwing Bounty.”

Local officials protested the counterproductive action, but Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany defended the President, saying they should have known what they were getting into when they requested Trump’s assistance.

“Everyone knows this President’s standard disaster response protocol is turning up to throw paper towels at it in front of the press.”

She said local officials should not have requested his help if they didn’t want dried-out wood pulp tossed into the area. Trump himself later tweeted that criticisms of his disaster response were Fake News.

“I throw the the best paper towels. Nobody throws better paper towels than me. If Biden wins he’ll be throwing store brands that don’t even have select-a-size. Sad!”

YOUR GENEROSITY KEEPS THE SATIRE COMING!

21 Comments on "California Wildfires Worsen After Trump Throws Paper Towels At Them"

  1. Barbara A. van de Velde | September 20, 2020 at 11:22 am | Reply

    Some of you believe anything you hear or read about President Trump. He would not throw paper towels at the firemen. I find it disgusting you’re so upset about a fictional action yet you say nothing about the looting, stealing, burning and murdering people in Seattle, Portland and other States. I suggest you get your act together and learn how to respect our President of the United States of America, President Trump!!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

    • If you believe a lying cheating racist then your just as bad as he is. He’s cheated not 1 x but now the 26th time he’s supported racist comments and individuals
      He’s slammed everyone who has disagreed with him. He mocks the smartest scientists in the world…
      what planet are you on if you think he supports Americans!!!! He bashes the military that keep you safe… look at the FACTS…

  2. Oh come-on people! We all know what a preservationists Trump is! Someone told him paper towels were made from forests. He was simply trying to restore them by returning the paper towels to their origins …so The Republicans say.

  3. Anyone who believes this fake news needs to get their head examined.

  4. Omg, this post made my day… to funny, can we all just take a minute and enjoy the pure sarcasm no matter what side of the fence we are on?? Ok carry on.

  5. Satire…. and the fact that anyone defends it is concerning. Like it’s so ridiculous, it is surely a joke. His supporters feel the need to call it out as fake news cause most of his shenanigans actually look like this.

  6. To the people who commented negatively on this “supposed action” by the President, you will believe anything you hear about our President if it sounds negative. If you heard someone say he turned cartwheels at the tomb of the unknown soldier, you would believe it. What great minds. Use common sense, people! Oh that’s right. You don’t have any.

  7. Fake news!!

    Trump did not do this.

    Wake up people

  8. Fake news. This did not happen. Come on people wake up!!!

  9. This is BS fake news. Trump would never have done this.

    Shame On you

  10. Did he really. What a blank blank asshole. Disgraceful as a president

  11. Barbara Fitzaltoy | September 17, 2020 at 1:00 am | Reply

    Paper towels are a wonderful source of carbon sequestration. It’s a shame that he would be so foolish as to burn them and release more C02 into a disaster area.

  12. Great three point pose. All he needs is a BLM jersey and he is ready for the NBA.

  13. What a waste of paper that could have made more mail in ballots- ugh 🙁

  14. He could have at least helped and pee’d on the fire like he had the ruskie ho’s do to The hotel bed!

  15. Orange man bad.

  16. This Trump guy isn’t qualified to flush a toilet…even with his HEAD in it ….

  17. How can any one person ack on such dangerous way only one ass hole

  18. What am ass hole

  19. Like a couple of kids fighting over a girl in school! How childish of both of them.Shame on them both!!!!

  20. Mean spirited bastard… he is PURE VILE

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