Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro has sent profuse apologies to Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos after razing his company’s headquarters to the ground. “Sorry I got carried away.” Bolsonaro said he saw the name on the side…
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Hones bees are remembering one of their own today, who they say narrowly escaped the Notre Dame disaster only to be consumed in the raging fires in the Amazon. “He was already pretty disgusted when…
After already ordering US Companies to stop working with China as part of his escalating trade war, President Trump has hit on the idea of punishing the PROC further by demanding United States citizens give…
Though he normally loathes to comment on work activities, the Grim Reaper admitted today to a local radio station that scything David Koch recently was ‘pretty sweet’ as the job goes. “When I cast the…
Fox News host Tomi Lahren has issued an apology to Kamala Harris for suggesting she ‘slept her way to the top’, saying it was an innocent misunderstanding. “I mistakenly assumed that female promotion in the…
Sports apparel manufacturer Nike has announced it will no longer manufacturer nor sell white sneakers. It has also initiated a generous buy back program to get rid of those already out there. The move follows…
DC area headhunters have weighed in on the prospects of outgoing White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders finding a job in the private sector, and say the chances are very good. “Companies are always on…
A day after revealing his Air Force One redesign using livery remarkably reminiscent of his own personal aircraft, President Trump has ditched it in favor of a new proposal made by Boeing. “I love this…
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has entered the space business with the announcement of his Blue Moon lunar lander designed to deliver payloads to the moon’s surface. Though Bezos maintained his lunar lander was in response…
President Trump has indicated he considered nominating his daughter, Ivanka, to lead the World Bank because she is ‘very good with numbers’. However Ivanka’s appointment to head the World Bank was complicated by late emergence…
The recent dispute between AOC and Ted Cruz – where she tweeted how outrageous it was that the minimum wage is the cost of an airport croissant and he attempted to criticize her by implying…
Joel Osteen is said to be in shock today after being hit with a Cease And Desist order by the Lord Our Saviour, which prevents him from collecting money from the public in the name…
The Boeing company has announced a brand new aircraft that it hopes will reassure the public that it is dedicated to safety following the crash of two of its 737 Max 8 planes introduced in…
Fire Departments across the country are dealing with an epidemic of house fires, particularly in New York City and California. The puzzling outbreak was finally explained today when investigators discovered it was Democrats burning their…
Saying he’d finally ‘cracked the puzzle’ of how to make a profitable electric car, Elon Musk has announced a total overhaul of the Tesla Model 3, which has been cut in price from $42,000 to…
Ivanka Trump has fought back against critics who say she doesn’t know what hard work is, and that she is in no position to take about what average Americans need. “I worked my dad very…
In the highly competitive category of best performance by a product placed in a feature film, Omega Watch was the winner tonight for its highly lauded role in the film Vice. “I’ve never seen a…
Freshly dead fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld has reportedly wasted no time in telling God that his design sense is ‘atrocious’ and the decor in Heaven would ‘make me kill myself if I wasn’t already dead’….
New Yorkers with Amazon Prime found themselves unable stream their favorite videos today, after an unfortunate glitch slowed down content delivery to IP addresses in the city. None other than the Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos…
After having what he describes as a ‘that-guy-in-the-bathtub’ moment, President Trump is said to have solved the problem of how to get his border wall built once and for all. “The answer was staring me…