(The White House) Saying there was a desperate shortfall of willing candidates within the United States, staffers today announced that President Trump has decided to outsource the upcoming Chief of Staff vacancy to India. “With…
A wealthy art collector from Europe is reportedly livid that nothing notable has happened to the Banksy artwork he now owns since completing a purchase for 3.2 million euros at a Paris auctioneer yesterday. “It’s…
Following the news that the Pirates have acquired pitcher Chris Archer just as the trade deadline approached, local fans have finally discovered what Neil Huntington has grown to realize over the past few months, if…
Ivanka Trump has announced that she is closing down the fashion line that uses her name. Though she regrets all the menial jobs that will be lost in the Chinese labor market, she said there…
As he heads to Helsinki for his annual job evaluation, President Trump is experiencing a feeling familiar to many Americans – that of whether they will get canned for poor performance on the job. However…
Though the North Koreans appear to have made no significant concessions, while the United States committed to suspending military operations with South Korea as well as adding legitimacy to Kim Jong-un, President Trump today revealed…
In a move being hailed as historic by Civil Rights leaders, Starbucks has shown how easy it is to end racism though the holding of three-hour anti-bias training sessions. Sixties icon John Lewis didn’t hold…
Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson had said he wanted to meet the two African-American men at the center of the controversy enveloping his company to personally apologize. A meeting at another local area Starbucks was set…
Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson has apologized for an incident in one of his Philadelphia stores where two African-American men waiting for their friend before ordering were arrested after the police were called. “In hindsight it’s…
Russian President Vladimir Putin has announced he has ordered his air force and the Baltic fleet to make preparations to attack a vile network of chemical weapons plants located in Flint, MI, in the United…
Donald Trump Jr, eldest son of the President and trustee of his business empire, has announced that the Trump Organization has won a lucrative contract to refurbish an airport in the Middle East. He was…
(Pittsburgh, PA) Century III Mall is scheduled to be auctioned off, meaning that the region’s iconic shopping complex that was once the envy of the nation is going to close down. The mall’s customer, Janice…
After another tempestuous day on Wall Street in which the Dow Jones Industrial Average veered violently in one direction then the other, the venerated stock index finally confirmed what many had suspected, that it had…
Asked if she thought whether the fall in the Dow Jones Index was a bad reflection on President Trump and his policies, Secretary for Education Betsy DeVos said it only went down if you view…
Faced with calls to accept personal responsibility for today’s huge stock market drop, just as he had taken credit for its rise days ago, President Trump today denied any knowledge of the Dow Jones. “Can’t…
The Philadelphia Eagles were not the only winners on Sunday night, as a bold imaginative commercial ‘Blank Screen’ won the crown of greatest ever Super Bowl ad, toppling the late Steve Jobs’ ‘Think Different’ ad…
Noting that the Dow Jones Index fell a suspicious 666 points on the same day President Trump declassified the Nunes memo criticizing the FBI, many are speculating that this is a sign that Trump and…
Ingvar Kamprad, the founder of IKEA, has died in his native Sweden aged 91. His furniture empire grew to have stores across the globe, including here in Pittsburgh, providing stylish but affordable furniture that was…
Describing it as the jewel in the crown of their extensive portfolios, the Koch Brothers today heaped praise on their favorite stock, Paul Ryan, which they say is paying off like gangbusters. Billionaire energy mogul…
Procter & Gamble, the manufacturer of Tide laundry detergent, today announced a new version of its laundry pods for idiots who are watching their figures. “With Tide Zero you can now eat our laundry pods…