Education

Education, Election2016, Politics April 11, 2017

Sean Spicer Accepts Generous Offer To Show Him How Zyklon B Works

In an attempt to convey the depravity of Syrian President Assad’s use of chemical weapons, Sean Spicer has claimed that their use is something not even Hitler lowered himself to, despite the mass killing of…

Education, Election2016, Parenting, Politics February 15, 2017

Betsy DeVos To Deregulate Public School Lunch Trading Market

Education Secretary Betsy DeVos surprised critics today by announcing that her first initiative will not relate to her signature issue, school vouchers. Instead she plans to embark on an ambitious program to deregulate the sizable…

Education, Election2016, Politics February 11, 2017

Betsy DeVos Tells Elementary School Student To Put Another ‘e’ On ‘Potatoe’

After finally gaining access to an elementary school classroom, Education Secretary Betsy Devos invited the second graders to spell out their favorite food on the board. Aides became concerned when one student misspelled the word…

Education, Election2016, Parenting, Politics, Top Posts February 7, 2017

Grizzly Bears Flee America’s Classrooms Following Confirmation Of Betsy DeVos

There were heavy vibrations and thunderous noises in the hallways of America’s public schools today as the huge number of grizzlies and other species of bear known to frequent their classrooms took to surrounding hills…

Education, Election2016, Parenting, Politics February 7, 2017

New Education Secretary Uniquely Qualified To Understand America’s Stupidest Kids

Donald Trump’s nominee for Education Secretary, Betsy DeVos, has been confirmed in a nail-biter in which VP Mike Pence had to cast the tiebreaking vote. While there was fierce opposition to DeVos, including two Republican…

Business, Education November 1, 2016

School Of Hard Knocks To Introduce Tuition Fees

In what is being called a travesty by its current students and many millions of alumni, the School of Hard Knocks says it has been forced by the current economic climate to introduce tuition fees…

Business, Education, Election2016, Politics September 6, 2016

Trump Thanks ITT Technical Institute For Displacing His University As Sleaziest Education Program

A buoyant Donald Trump today extended his gratitude to the freshly defunct ITT Technical Institute for taking the heat off his defunct Trump University. He now expects he will receive less criticism since most observers…

Education, Health, Science August 27, 2016

Can You See The Number On The Horse Inside The Circle?

I CAN’T SEE THE NUMBER: If you can’t see the number then what you are ‘seeing’ is that you have a vision problem. You do not need to see a medical professional, as not passing…

Education, Law & Order June 6, 2016

Stanford Athlete Inspires Grim Sleeper To Lecture On Dangers Of Serial Killing

[Los Angeles, CA] The serial killer known as the Grim Sleeper – aka Lonnie David Franklin Jr – may have just been given the death sentence by a California jury, but instead of letting that…

Business, Education, Parenting, Politics, World April 12, 2016

Off-Shore Bank Introduces “Baby’s First Tax Haven” Program

[British Virgin Islands] Keen to take advantage of the recent publicity the Panama Papers has generated, a Caribbean-based bank has launched a new program aimed at the obscenely rich who have children. Called “Baby’s First…

Arts & Entertainment, Education, Local, Music April 5, 2016

PITT Concert Review: Joe Biden At The Petersen Events Center (5/4/16)

Pitt students were treated to yet another musical extravaganza today at the Petersen Events Center in Oakland – acts who have previously performed at the famed venue include indie band Silversun Pickups, Wiz Khalifa, Ariana…

Arts & Entertainment, Education February 28, 2016

‘The Witch’ Continues To Traumatize Mainstream Audiences By Making Them Think

[via The Hollywood Reporter] Now in its second week of widespread release, Sundance breakout film ‘The Witch’ is continuing to disturb audiences who went in expecting a gorefest of slashed throats and overdone CGI. Many…

Education, Gun Control, Politics February 25, 2016

Campus Carry Laws Bring New Hope To Failing Students

[Houston, TX] Texas is the latest state to pass campus carry laws that require public educational institutions to permit concealed handguns on their property. Despite the howls of complaints about academic freedom being threatened, in…

Education, Politics, World January 31, 2016

ISIS Recruiters Lament Terrible State Of U.S. Education

ISIS’s top recruiting team was excited about finally getting the opportunity to actively recruit devotees in the United States in 2016, expecting a bounty of dedicated killers with the added advantage that they would already…

Education, Local, Sports, Steelers January 1, 2016

Pittsburgh To Be Site Of World’s First Sports Fan Academy

The first ever school to teach sports fandom – a joint partnership between the University of Phoenix and all four major sports leagues – is to have its first campus in Pittsburgh. The choice was…

Education, Food, Politics December 22, 2015

Oberlin College Culturally Appropriates The Legacy Of Student Protest

[Oberlin, OH] When most people think of student protests, what often comes to mind is opposition to the Vietnam War and fighting to end segregation and the oppression of women, of which Oberlin College has…

Education December 14, 2015

Campuses To Require Trigger Warnings About Trigger Warnings In Future

Trigger warnings, which give advance notice to students that what they are about to be exposed to might contain offensive or politically incorrect material, have become part of the academic landscape in recent years. But…

Arts & Entertainment, Business, Education, TV, World December 3, 2015

Disney Corporation Acquires Exclusive Rights To Anne Frank

[Burbank, CA] Hot of the heels of its acquisition of the Star Wars franchise, Disney Corporation (NYSE:DIS) has announced that it has purchased exclusive personality rights to Anne Frank, the wartime diarist who died aged…

Education, Literary November 20, 2015

Oxford English Dictionary To Redefine Hero As Someone Who Does Something Useful

The ultimate authority on the English language, the Oxford English Dictionary, is to update the definition of the word ‘hero’ as part of an ongoing effort to reflect the contemporary use of words. The change…

Arts & Entertainment, Business, Education, TV November 12, 2015

Millennials Confused By Sitcom About Young People With Jobs Who Don’t Live At Home

NBC has been expecting a huge syndication payday with the wave of millenials born in 1990s entering their twenty-something years, as it was assumed they would eagerly devour reruns of the iconic sitcom Friends. However,…

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Breaking Burgh

A satirical blog serving Western Pennsylvania and beyond