Betsy DeVos says she has come up with a way to reopen the nation’s public schools while at the same time ensuring that the novel Coronavirus is not able to infect children who could pass…
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(Pittsburgh, PA) The St. Patricks Day’s Parade and the Pens game have been cancelled and the campuses of Pitt, CMU, Duquesne, Chatham, and Point Park will be devoid of students for the rest of the…
(Pittsburgh, PA) Word has leaked early of a major public works project to begin later this year with a projected end date sometime in the late 2020s. The mammoth undertaking will carve the likenesses of…
Accepting her 2020 Woman of Distinction Award from Palm Beach Atlantic University, First Lady Melania Trump warned of the dangers of social media and some of the horrible things you can encounter on platforms like…
Local cradle of higher education Carnegie-Mellon University has apologized for a map that depicted the college and surrounding neighborhoods with some notable exceptions – namely predominantly black neighborhoods like the Hill District and Garfield. “We…
The internet is captivated by an image NASA has released that depicts a close-up of the Sun’s surface. The ultra-high resolution image highlights features as small as 18 miles across, providing unprecendented detail. Trump Administration…
Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos said today that flat Earth theories and the Book of Genesis have no business being taught in the public school system she oversees. “The science involved is far too difficult…
Department of Education Secretary Betsy DeVos is set to embark of a drastic scaling back of public schooling, though she insists this is not about cutting costs or scaling back government. “I’m worried the students’…
In response to growing pressure, the United States Government is to stop celebrating Columbus Day. The traditional October holiday falling on the second Monday will now be known as Columbo Day, when the affable TV…
Saying it felt blessed for having such a successful amateur career in film, a local digital alarm clock says it expects to land many more roles in student and independent film productions for years to…
Sentence has been passed down on actor Felicity Huffmann for her illegal actions in attempting to manipulate college admissions. Though she is only to be incarcerated for 14 days, the sentence is considered very harsh…
As the full extent of the college bribery scandal becomes clear – in which the rich and famous paid to have their milquetoast progeny mis-represented as little Einsteins and accomplished athletes – many are feeling…
In a further bid to please his base, President Trump has made clear that the United States has one and only one official language – American. “No language that originated in another country will ever…
President Trump is conyinuing his attack on ‘The Squad”, including saying in a recent stump speech that they are the reason shampoo bottles have instructions. Though it went down well, the quip has started a…
(Philadelphia, PA) The Wharton School of Business, whose past attendees have included Elon Musk and Warren Buffet, today announced it is naming a corner of a classroom after its most famous former student, President Trump….
President Trump has weighed in on the busing debate that has dominated the news cycle ever since Kamila Harris – herself bused as a young child – criticized Joe Biden for opposing mandated busing in…
A High School adaptation stage adaptation of the iconic movie Alien has garnered nationwide attention, both for its stunning brilliance but also because it is almost certainly a violation of copyright. Initial concerns were that…
With disgust at the college admissions scandal showing no sign of abating, Hollywood’s rich and famous appear to have accepted that they can’t cheat their way in anymore. “I guess it’s back to donating science…
Owners of the syndication rights for the ABC sitcom Full House have announced that all the episodes that feature Lori Loughlin or reference Rebecca will no longer be made available for broadcast or streaming and…
The Harry Potter universe is in disarray tonight following allegations that the boy wizard’s parents paid an intermediary ‘large amounts of treasure’ to ensure their son’s acceptance at Hogwarts. Though the investigation is still ongoing,…