Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos said today that flat Earth theories and the Book of Genesis have no business being taught in the public school system she oversees. “The science involved is far too difficult…
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Department of Education Secretary Betsy DeVos is set to embark of a drastic scaling back of public schooling, though she insists this is not about cutting costs or scaling back government. “I’m worried the students’…
In response to growing pressure, the United States Government is to stop celebrating Columbus Day. The traditional October holiday falling on the second Monday will now be known as Columbo Day, when the affable TV…
Saying it felt blessed for having such a successful amateur career in film, a local digital alarm clock says it expects to land many more roles in student and independent film productions for years to…
Sentence has been passed down on actor Felicity Huffmann for her illegal actions in attempting to manipulate college admissions. Though she is only to be incarcerated for 14 days, the sentence is considered very harsh…
As the full extent of the college bribery scandal becomes clear – in which the rich and famous paid to have their milquetoast progeny mis-represented as little Einsteins and accomplished athletes – many are feeling…
In a further bid to please his base, President Trump has made clear that the United States has one and only one official language – American. “No language that originated in another country will ever…
President Trump is conyinuing his attack on ‘The Squad”, including saying in a recent stump speech that they are the reason shampoo bottles have instructions. Though it went down well, the quip has started a…
(Philadelphia, PA) The Wharton School of Business, whose past attendees have included Elon Musk and Warren Buffet, today announced it is naming a corner of a classroom after its most famous former student, President Trump….
President Trump has weighed in on the busing debate that has dominated the news cycle ever since Kamila Harris – herself bused as a young child – criticized Joe Biden for opposing mandated busing in…
A High School adaptation stage adaptation of the iconic movie Alien has garnered nationwide attention, both for its stunning brilliance but also because it is almost certainly a violation of copyright. Initial concerns were that…
With disgust at the college admissions scandal showing no sign of abating, Hollywood’s rich and famous appear to have accepted that they can’t cheat their way in anymore. “I guess it’s back to donating science…
Owners of the syndication rights for the ABC sitcom Full House have announced that all the episodes that feature Lori Loughlin or reference Rebecca will no longer be made available for broadcast or streaming and…
The Harry Potter universe is in disarray tonight following allegations that the boy wizard’s parents paid an intermediary ‘large amounts of treasure’ to ensure their son’s acceptance at Hogwarts. Though the investigation is still ongoing,…
As news of the college bribery scandal ‘Operation Varsity Blues’ spreads, details are emerging of just how far Hollywood’s rich and famous will go to ensure their children get accepted into the nations top colleges,…
Education Secretary Betsy DeVos has been accused of violating the principle of maintaining a strict separation of Church and State after she announced her department will no longer enforce a federal funding ban on religious…
One of Michael Cohen’s claims during his extraordinary testimony to the House is that Trump made him pressure schools into not revealing the President’s SAT score. This has led some people to suggest his SAT…
As speechwriters put the final touches on President Trump’s State Of The Union address to be delivered this evening, they were warned to leave enough time for it to be memorized. “His teleprompters, being text-based,…
Michael Cohen has backed up his decision not to testify due to threats to his family by producing the note that he received. Written in chickenscratch with woeful spelling, Cohen said that made it no…
Proving that it’s simply too harmonious for its own good, the United States is fracturing over the correct way to draw an ‘X’. “I guess this is what happens when a country is so peaceful…