The mystery of how President Trump could claim a recent Florida rally was “packed to the rafters” despite clear photographic evidence that the crowd was nowhere near capacity was solved today by those present. While…
Saying he wants to update the Lord’s Prayer to make it more relevant to modern people who believe in supernatural beings, Pope Francis is teaming up with singer Eminem to completely rework the lyrics. “8…
Disgraced Hollywood mogul expressed regret today over how he has led his life, saying he is plagued with remorse over not handling things differently. “Why oh why didn’t I jump into Republican politics when I…
(The White House) The celebrity playing Santa Claus this year has been named as singer, songwriter and perennial goth, Marilyn Manson. Though he never considered taking on the role before, Manson says seeing the White…
(Montgomery, AL) In what some of his supporters are describing as caving in to political correctness, US Senate Candidate Roy Moore today pledged to only hit on 15-year-olds if elected. Moore said the change was…
(Pittsburgh, PA) The opening day of deer hunting season is reportedly being complicated by a rash of suicidal deer who have had enough of life in Western Pennsylvania. Some deer watchers say it’s due to…
Insisting that the Christian Right were getting it all wrong, God today issued more commandments in an effort to get the people who claim to be his most vociferous devotees on the proper path. In…
(Pittsburgh, PA) Since being catapulted into the national limelight after allegations surfaced that he had publicly issued pro-life sentiments a week after urging a women he had an affair with to seek an abortion, Pennsylvania…
Local pro-life Congressman Tim Murphy (R) is putting Pittsburgh on the map following allegations that he publicly voiced his anti-abortion stance a week after encouraging a mistress to obtain one. Never one to shy away…
In a highly unusual move, God issued a statement today categorically denying any involvement in the accident resulting in Marilyn Manson being taken to hospital. “We may have our differences, but this was a pure…
Saying he tries to be responsive but even deities have their limits, Jesus Christ has let it be known he is tired with constantly being asked what he would do if confronted with other people’s…
Vice President Mike Pence is reportedly inconsolable after learning that Jared Kushner – someone he has been alone with including in the tight confines of an elevator – has been registered for voting purposes as…
Seeking to show he understands what the Houston flood victims are going through, Pastor Joel Osteen has shared the story of a time he was nearly drowned after cash came in faster than his religious…
(Grant County, KY) In what may be the final nail in the coffin of the biblical theme park Ark Encounter, the second largest investor after the State of Kentucky, God, has pulled out of the…
This weekend, patriots across the country defended America by holding protests against two despicable forms of jurisprudence that have already taken hold in vast parts of the country – Sharia Law and the equally imminent…
Disguising himself as a foreign press pool reporter with a curly moustache and horn-rimmed glasses, Pope Francis took a front row seat in the White House briefing room today with the knowledge of all the…
(Vatican City) What started out as a very stiff and awkward meeting between President Donald Trump and Pope Francis became more relaxed and friendly today after the two discovered they shared a common interest in…
(Vatican City) Strange reports out of the Vatican today describe a number of highly unusual incidents troubling enough in their nature for the Carabinieri (Italian Police) to be called in to investigate. Residents first noted…
(Dublin Castle) Following the shocking news that Stephen Fry may be tried by the Irish State for blasphemy, it emerged today that the entire population of the country is to be arrested and charged. Though…
Given Republican moves to repeal Obama’s Affordable Care Act, God issued a rare public statement today to remind everyone that the healthcare plans he offers are no substitute for the coverage Obamacare has been providing…