(Sharon, PA) A local Trump supporter and CDC critic laid into Dr. Fauci today for what he said is a totally incongruous position on the requirements to prevent the spread of COVID given recent medical…
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Following its pause in the distribution of the J&J COVID vaccine over concerns it had lead to a small number of blood clots, the CDC has now paused the distribution of firearms after uncovering worrying…
(Sharon, PA) A local man spoke out today about the pain of living in a state governed by a Nazi executive that is clearly out to get him and his kind. “To all those who…
(Sharon, PA) Local senior Marty Dixon said today he is ‘absolutely disgusted’ with the Pfizer vaccine shot he got because he was tired of his ‘crappy Verizon reception’ and was attracted by the idea of…
(Mar-a-Lago, FL) Florida health department officials warned today that there is a deadly dangerous pathogen loose in the Mar-a-Lago club in Palm Beach and cautioned the public to avoid contact lest they become infected. “You…
WHAT: YIKES! I’M DOING IT WRONG: 14 Reasons Why Your Life Stinks & How To Fix It WHERE: AMAZON WHEN: 18th March 2021 but available for Pre-Order NOW! HOW MUCH: $4.99 (or 69% of the…
Pharma giant Pfizer said it would never wish for someone to go uncredited for their work and apologized to President Trump today for not properly acknowledging his role in the development of its RNA messenger…
Representatives of the Neanderthal community today criticized President Biden for comments describing the relaxation of mask guidelines by Republican governors as ‘Neanderthal thinking’. “As a species of considerable intelligence that has already mastered the use…
The World Health Organization team in Wuhan investigating the origins of the novel Coronavirus in humans made a potentially huge breakthrough today when evidence emerged how it could have jumped species. “We were always confident…
Though he normally loathes to comment on work activities, the Grim Reaper admitted today to a local radio station that scything Rush Limbaugh recently was ‘pretty sweet’ compared to how the job usually goes. “When…
(Tampa, FL) Speaking ahead of his match-up against last year’s champions, the Kansas City Chiefs, Tampa QB and living legend Tom Brady said the game this year will be extra special. “I realize this will…
In Underworld news, Satan has announced he will not be fomenting evil in the hearts and minds of living souls for the next 14 days as he will be self-isolating out of an ‘abundance of…
President Biden today revealed he has succeeded in achieving a massive accomplishment after completely eradicating a deadly cancer that was plaguing the United States. “President Trump repeatedly warned us about the terrible scourge of windmill…
President-elect Biden received high praise today for his comprehensive plan to disinfect the White House, with many commending his team on developing such a well-thought-out plan so quickly. However Biden, who is known to be…
President-elect Joe Biden announced another cabinet-level nomination today, that of actor Tom Cruise to the newly created post of COVID-19 Guidelines Enforcement Czar. “With Tom’s help and extreme passion, we are going to kick this…
Following the revelation by President Trump that Rudy Giuliani has tested positive for COVID-19, the former mayor of New York City is refusing to concede to the pandemic virus and has vowed to overturn the…
The White House has confirmed that President Trump will undergo a medical evaluation live on television tonight to address concerns that he has continued health problems associated with his COVID-19 infection. The thorough physical will…
Vice President Mike Pence was reported to be feeling ‘in the dumps’ today following his inability to become infected with the novel coronavirus as his boss and most of the administration already have. “He just…
(The White House) In a bid to save everyone’s time, the White House has announced that, going forward, it will update the media with the names of people working there who aren’t actively fighting a…
MEDICAL BRIEF: As the public wonder about the side effects of President Trump’s medications – particularly the known tendency of high-dose steroids like the dexamethasone he is taking to cause, aggression, delirium and delusions of…
