Kim Jong-un has said he is concerned for U.S. President Donald Trump, after not being insulted and derided by him in quite some time. Though Trump has been occupied by a range of other issues…
Local pro-life Congressman Tim Murphy (R) is putting Pittsburgh on the map following allegations that he publicly voiced his anti-abortion stance a week after encouraging a mistress to obtain one. Never one to shy away…
Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell has indicated he intends to bring the Graham-Cassidy bill – the latest attempt to repeal the Affordable Care Act (ACA) or Obamacare – for a vote next week. Co-author of…
White House Chief of Staff John Kelly had to excuse himself briefly today to receive treatment for a facial rash, which medical staff determined was the result of excessive facepalming. “The skin eventually becomes irritated…
In a startling about-face, the White House has dropped its opposition to any form of socialized medicine and is now advocating for a pilot program specifically aimed at musculoskeletal ailments. The President was moved to…
‘Pharma bro’ Martin Shkreli has been found guilty of securities fraud, but escaped conviction on a number of charges, leading him to declare the reault a victory. With sentencing to follow, Shkreli could face up…
Former President Barack Obama is undergoing round the clock care to treat a life-threatening condition as a result of laughing so hard it could kill him. The medical emergency started at approximately 2am on Friday…
John McCain may have just undergone surgery related to his highly aggressive cancer diagnosis, but that didn’t stop Republicans leaning on him to see if his head incision has healed enough to withstand hours in…
Blake Farenthold, a Republican Congressman from Texas, is making headlines after saying it’s ‘absolutely repugnant’ that ‘some female senators from the Northeast’ were able to stall GOP efforts to repeal Obamacare. Farenthold went on to…
Republican Governor Chris Christie has signed a bill raising the minimum age to buy tobacco products in the state of New Jersey to 21 months, up from the previous threshold of 19 months. The move,…
People of all political stripes were saddened this week to learn that Arizona Senator John McCain has brain cancer, following reports that he has already undergone surgery to remove a mass that was causing problems….
Following his return from the G20 meeting during which he often appeared distracted, doctors have diagnosed President Trump with clinical exhaustion and prescribed total bedrest without interruption. “For not a day less than 3 and…
Following his twitter attack on cable network host Mika Brzezinski, women’s group have praised President Trump’s acknowledgment of their health issues while a group of all-male Senators seek to slash medical benefits with no concerns…
A polio charity in Georgia that provided years of treatment to Mitch McConnell as a toddler, sparing him from paralysis, has announced it will be taking back his legs. Though not government funded, the charity…
Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell has announced a delay in voting on the Senate American Healthcare Act which will now take place after the holiday. Despite rumors it was because he didn’t have the votes,…
A Twin Peaks viewing party is still in critical condition a week after the fateful airing of the 2-hour episode “The Return”. The party began innocently enough with fresh-brewed coffee and cherry pie on hand,…
The Pittsburgh Marathon is on and for Sam Cutter from Friendship this was supposed to be the day he completed one of his life goals. “I really thought this would be the year.” In the…
Given Republican moves to repeal Obama’s Affordable Care Act, God issued a rare public statement today to remind everyone that the healthcare plans he offers are no substitute for the coverage Obamacare has been providing…
In a feat no-one could have foreseen, Happy Days actor Scott Baio has somehow managed the seemingly impossible – making people hate him even more than they already did. After diving into the 2016 election…
(Atlanta, GA) The Centers For Disease control has issued a warning that an epidemic of Foot in Mouth disease has broken out across the Unites States. Unlike the more common foot and mouth disease that…