President Trump Decides To Just Give Your Cash For Christmas
Saying he was far too busy running the country to find time to get to the mall, President Trump told his reflection in the mirror that his Christmas present to himself would have to be…
Saying he was far too busy running the country to find time to get to the mall, President Trump told his reflection in the mirror that his Christmas present to himself would have to be…
Amidst all the criticism of the Trump Administration, there is one group that can’t sing its praises enough – the White House event foldable lawn chairs. “Normally I’d have a sweaty ass parked on top…
(The White House) The celebrity playing Santa Claus this year has been named as singer, songwriter and perennial goth, Marilyn Manson. Though he never considered taking on the role before, Manson says seeing the White…
The mystery of why the White House Christmas décor looks so cold and ominous was answered today with news that a sequel to Stanley Kubrick’s horror masterpiece ‘The Shining’ is set there. “We’ll actually be…
As Pittsburghers enjoyed yet another fireworks show today for one reason or another, or perhaps no reason at all, Mayor Peduto announced that the City will be having fireworks round the clock from now on….
When asked to comment on the time-honored Presidential tradition of pardoning turkeys before Thanksgiving, President Donald Trump surprised reporters today when he didn’t respond with a bad pun as is typical of these occasions –…
With Halloween fast approaching, City Council has passed the first Trick-Or-Treat Bill Of Rights to govern activities that occur on October 31st. It is expected that other cities will follow Pittsburgh’s lead and adopt similar…
A local man who does not wished to be named has said his turkey dinner may be the latest victim of Trump’s Presidency – which he enthusiastically supported until now. This is because he is…
Local family man Tom Nowak couldn’t hold back the tears when seven-year-old son David said he wanted to made him proud one day. “My boy plans to get into the White House to investigate whatever…
Following the release of a CDC report that STDs are at an all-time high, President Trump took time today to remember the fallen of his own Personal Vietnam, which was spent avoiding sexually transmitted diseases…
There were widespread sighs of relief at the White House Easter Egg Roll today after gaffe-prone spokesman Sean Spicer made it all the way through “How To Catch The Easter Bunny” without becoming an apologist…
(Easter Monday) President Trump boasted today of a huge showing of support for his administration by young people who held a rally on the White House grounds. “Young people are the future, and judging by…
(Vatican City) Further bolstering his reputation as the hippest leader of the Catholic Church since Boniface III, Pope Francis rocked St. Peter’s Square this Easter with a Mass that will surely go down as one…
“I have to tell you, it’s an unbelievably complex subject.” So said President Trump today in response to a question on how arrangements for the traditional White House Easter Egg Roll were progressing. “Nobody knew…
With Easter ceremonies about to take place in churches across the country, Jesus Christ said today he couldn’t keep quiet any longer about this tasteless tradition of celebrating one of the worst times in his…
It’s St. Patrick’s Day – a time to celebrate all that is Irish that involves drinking like there’s no tomorrow. But there is a bitter side to this year’s fun since it falls on a…
The international community is in shock at the news that the Republic of Ireland and the United States of America are at war after Paul Ryan held up a pathetic glass of ‘Guinness’ with barely…
While silently hoping that this year might be different, Saint Patrick is mentally steeling himself to witness the multifarious acts of drunkenness and debauchery that will soon be done in his name. “Why couldn’t I…
Observers of Pi Day across the country have bid it farewell for another year. For the uninitiated, Pi Day is celebrated on March 14 in acknowledgment of the special mathematical number. Adherents typically do not…
Valentine’s Day is a time when restaurants are full with love-struck and not so love-struck couples out for a fine meal. With this not being any ordinary day, restaurateurs says tastes are different than usual,…