Following a divisive shutdown, President Trump promised to deliver a State Of The Union address focused on unity for a change. As is customary at these events, the White House announced the guests in attendance,…
Embattled Virginia Governor Ralph Northam now has a strong ally fighting his corner as he resists calls to step down in light of a racist 1984 yearbook photo in which he was either they guy…
The Federal Bureau of Prisons has announced it is constructing a new facility near Washington, DC, to house all the associates of the President expected to soon be in their care. “The current system can…
As Americans listen to news of yet another mass shooting, a pattern is emerging that is very disturbing. “It seems these pesky Muslims are getting even better at impersonating white male Christians.” Law enforcement’s job…
A young Rudy Giuliani time traveling from late 1980s stopped by to check in on his 74-year-old self today, hoping to find himself basking in the glow of his former achievements. Young Giuliani was pleased…
Hillary Clinton was in a generous mood today as she offered Presidential First Daughter Ivanka Trump the top bunk bed when they are both incarcerated for using private email accounts to conduct government business. “She’s…
President Trump has indicated he finds the Saudi explanation for the death of journalist Jamal Khashoggi credible. But far less impressed are local law enforcement departments across the United States, where the Crown Prince’s account…
The Government of Saudi Arabia has abruptly changed its story about the disappearance of U.S. resident and Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi, confirming that his death was their responsibility after all. “He had been causing…
President Trump has called for people not to rush to judgement after his press conference was interrupted by a Saudi delegation that dismembered and beheaded a significant fraction of the White House press corps. “Just…
A day after threatening to raid Social Security to pay for the deficit run up by tax cuts for the rich, Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell’s battered body has been found under a large pile…
After an uneventful first day on the US Supreme Court, Justice Brett Kavanaugh celebrated today with those that he loves most in the world, a selection of high quality craft beers. “To all those who…
After thoroughly enjoying the elevation of accused attempted rapist Brett Kavanaugh to the bench, President Trump today said he wanted it to be more of a challenge next time. “That was too easy. I’d only…
Senate Leader Mitch McConnell announced today that he was conferring upon Senator Susan Collins the highest honor he knew, that of honorary straight while male. “Today you join an elite club, and all you must…
The Federal Bureau of Investigation today responded to critics who claim it is working with both hands tied behind its back by insisting its investigation into Brett Kavanaugh is free from any significant constraints. “The…
The Senate hearing to determine whether accusations against Judge Brett Kavanaugh are credible got off to a bad start for President Trump’s nominee today when he turned up with a full keg of bear. “Let’s…
At a late night meeting, the all-male Republican contingent of the Senate Judiciary committee that will hear from nominee Brett Kavanaugh and his accuser Dr Ford discussed how they will approach the dramatic hearing. “Obviously…
In the ongoing Kavanaugh controversy, a name that keeps on coming up is that of Mark Judge. Christine Blasey Ford placed Judge, a known close friend of Kavanaugh’s, at the scene of the alleged incident…
No sooner had Republicans in charge of the Senate Judiciary Committee agreed terms to hear from embattled SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh and his accuser, Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, a second accuser from his university days…
Though Judge Kavanaugh himself has yet to comment publicly on the matter of the upcoming hearings regarded accusations of sexual assault, his penis said today that it was looking forward to a free and open…
A policeman who shot a restaurant worker fifteen times has been cleared of any wrongdoing, after a jury found him not guilty of any crime because he was in fear of his life. Witnesses testified…