Plumbers were called to the White House today to deal with an emergency situation after word arrived that Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller has subpoenaed the Trump Organization to turn over documents related to Russia. Though…
(Pittsburgh, PA) A lawsuit filed by the Republic of Ireland in the Allegheny County Court of Common Pleas is seeking damages from the city for ‘misappropriate of cultural properties in the form of a publicized…
Saying they wanted to give the President the opportunity to back up his tough words with deeds, the FBI promised to let him go in first the next time they are dealing with an active…
Following reports that a number of Broward County deputies were still missing, Coral Springs police have completed a thorough sweep of the Parkland school grounds where trajedy struck last week and located them unharmed. “They’ve…
A Slovenian chain migrant couple currently living in the USA are wishing their son-in-law would shut the hell up until they gain full citizenship, which they fear he is putting in jeopardy. “We won’t name…
The Secret Service has announced it will no longer be complaining about its budget being inadequate to protect President Trump and his large entourage. This came after as they discovered an equally effective means to…
John Kelly’s plan to put a proper security clearance procedure in place to limit those allowed access to the White House is said to be causing him severe difficulties, according to a source close to…
Trying to extract some positive from the horror in Florida, local authorities reflected today on how much more carnage the school shooter could have caused were it not for sensible regulations. “At least he didn’t…
Millions of comic book movie fans were disappointed this weekend to find the Black Panther movie they had tickets for would not be showing as scheduled owing to its being taken into custody by police….
News that the FBI is serving indictments on charges of tampering in the 2016 election has reached the White House, though President Trump could not be reached for comment as nobody will answer the door…
A pack of lions were being demonized on social media today for killing a man, until a new twist emerged which changed everything. “He had a firearm.” The lions, speaking through their attorney, announced they…
After a number of domestic abuse revelations directly affecting the White House, President Trump today demanded that immediate action be taken to curb this disgraceful epidemic. “These doors are out of control.” Though he insisted…
The Vice President has weighed in on the abuse scandal engulfing the White House. While the President was quick to come to former aide Rob Porter’s defense, Pence was far less sympathetic. “This is not…
Tears flowed in the White House today as aide Rob Porter left for the last time after tendering his resignation over allegations of spousal abuse. Wishing him well, Chief of Staff John Kelly invited Porter…
Special Counsel Robert Mueller sent a clear signal today that his Russia probe was progressing when he requested that the Federal Bureau of Investigation immediately commence planning an Impeachment Parade. “James Comey has already asked…
There were dramatic scenes at the White House today as First Lady Melania Trump was taken into custody on a charge of High Treason against the United States. The punishment for the crime if found…
The Philadelphia Police today announced plans for the Eagles victory parade, which they say will feature the winning team traveling through downtown on a bus to greet their fans. “The bus will be of the…
(Philadelphia, PA) Exhausted Philly fans got a welcome boost today when they learned that the Federal Emergency Management Agency would be taking over organizing the forthcoming Eagles victory parade in their city after a terrible…
Saying there’s no point greasing them because Philly fans always find a way to climb them anyway, Philadelphia police are instead coating all city street poles with a highly sticky glue used in flypaper. “This…
(Washington, DC) A tourist visiting from Sweden got hopelessly lost today after being given directions by none other than U.S. Congressman Devin Nunes. “He seemed so nice and willing to help.” Though she blamed herself…