Local

Local, Technology, Transport, Yinzer July 19, 2017

Google Maps Updates Pittsburgh Directions Algorithm To Use More Defunct Landmarks

(Bakery Sq, Pittsburgh, PA) Google Maps have announced a complete revision of their algorithm for producing directions that will apply specifically to the Pittsburgh area. This is reportedly a direct result of feedback received through…

Local, Politics June 2, 2017

Pittsburgh Secedes From Commonwealth Of Pennsylvania And Joins French Republic

The City of Pittsburgh has abruptly left the United States following a whirlwind of dramatic events triggered when President Donald Trump said he was ‘elected by the people of Pittsburgh, not Paris’ as he withdrew…

Bigotry, Food, Local, Society May 10, 2017

Restaurateurs Introducing Exciting New Concept Called Black Culture To East Liberty

Pittsburgh’s East Liberty neighborhood is about to be introduced to an exciting new concept called ‘Black Culture’ thanks to some enterprising restauranteurs. “It’s cool, it’s loose, and even a little edgy.” There’ll also be a…

Food, Health, Local, Sports May 5, 2017

Man Comes Tantalizingly Close To Completing Pittsburgh Marathon Entry Form

The Pittsburgh Marathon is on and for Sam Cutter from Friendship this was supposed to be the day he completed one of his life goals. “I really thought this would be the year.” In the…

Local, Transport April 27, 2017

Pittsburgh To Represent United States In Worst Driver World Championships This Fall

Pittsburgh has been ranked number one in the nation for bad driving, tying with New York City. Placing first means that Pittsburgh drivers will get to represent the United States in the World’s Worst Driver…

Local, Transport April 8, 2017

Pittsburgh Asks Syrians Who Fixed Bombed Airbase To Help With Pothole Problem

Less than a day after being attacked by a salvo of 59 Tomohawk cruise missiles, Bashar al-Assad’s planes are back flying missions out of the al-Shayrat airbase in Syria. Though each missile carried a 1000 lb…

Arts & Entertainment, Local, Technology, Yinzer April 3, 2017

‘Pittsburgh Dad’ Set To End After Hemorrhaging Viewership To ‘Aliquippa Pap’

The popular show ‘Pittsburgh Dad’ will be ending in 2017, as the creative team behind it feels the time is right to go out on a high. The web series, starring co-creator Curt Wootton, shot…

Election2016, Local, Politics, World March 30, 2017

Trump Supporter Who’s Never Once Left Home Is Boycotting Hawaii

(Sharon, PA) Local senior Marty Dixon said today he is ‘absolutely disgusted’ by the actions of a Hawaiian federal judge that led to the continued blocking of President Trump’s travel ban by the U.S. Supreme…

Business, Local, Society, Yinzer March 19, 2017

Pittsburgh Ranked World’s Best City To Complain About Living In

Already repeatedly voted one of the world’s best cities to live in, Pittsburgh is now the best city on the planet to complain about living in according to a new survey by The Economist. Pittsburgh…

Local, Top Posts, Weather March 14, 2017

Pittsburgh Vows To Rise Again After Being Devastated By Mild Flurries

(Pittsburgh, PA) Mayor Peduto made an impassioned plea to band together and rebuild the city today, after gentle wafting precipitation wreaked havoc throughout its neighborhoods. Pittsburghers have sought strength from each other just as they…

Critters, Holidays, Local, Weather March 11, 2017

Punxsutawney Phil Emerges From Ground To Say I Told You So

Famed sciurid meteorologist Punxsutawney Phil made a rare unscheduled appearance today to say ‘I told you so’ to all the doubters and haters who’ve being saying his best days are behind him. After predicting six…

Holidays, Law & Order, Local, World March 9, 2017

Pittsburgh’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade To Be Stripped Of References To Ireland After Republic Files Lawsuit

(Pittsburgh, PA) A lawsuit filed by the Republic of Ireland in the Allegheny County Court of Common Pleas is seeking damages from the city for ‘misappropriate of cultural properties in the form of a publicized…

Local, Politics, Yinzer March 6, 2017

Peduto Administration Introduces ‘Jagoff Tax’ To Encourage Pittsburghers To Be Nicer To Each Other

Following the successful passage of a new tax code law by City Council earlier today, Pittsburghers will now face a tax penalty, or alternatively can lower their tax burden, depending how nice they are to…

Food, God Stuff, Local, Yinzer March 3, 2017

Rival Pittsburgh Area Fish Frys Embark On Lenten Campaigns To Spread Fake News

Lent has arrived which can only mean one thing in Pittsburgh – Fish Frys! But there is a dark underbelly to the fish fry capital of the world, where you only have to scratch the…

Local, Sports, Transport February 17, 2017

Mon Wharf Flooded After Andrew McCutchen Makes Entire City Weep

(Pittsburgh, PA) Parking downtown has been restricted today after the Mon Wharf flooded following publication of an opinion piece entitled “Dear Pittsburgh” by Pittsburgh Pirates Outfielder Andrew McCutchen. In the heart-wrenching article, McCutchen describes his…

Business, Hipsterdom, Local February 11, 2017

Breaking Burgh

A satirical blog serving Western Pennsylvania and beyond