Though his schedule was empty, President Trump has taken instead to twitter to mark MLK day by letting people know just how much he respects the civil rights leader and his achievements. “No-one could play…
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An associate of President Trump, who had believed he was part of the ‘in crowd’, admitted feeling depressed today when asked by a journalist how many times he had met Lev Parnas. “I’m ashamed to…
(Richmond, VA) Thousands of protesters took to the streets of Richmond this MLK day in support of the rights of small penis owners, who they say are being unfairly targeted with laws that curb their…
The manager of the cloakroom at the US Senate has assured moderate Republican senators that there will be plenty of room for them to check their spines this week as they serve as jurors in…
What was otherwise shaping up to be another perfect MLK day of celebrating America’s most beloved pastor by a group a friends was ruined today when one of their number deviated from the standard practice…
Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell apologized to colleagues today if his voice was unclear, blaming the persistent cold weather. “Below a certain temperature, retracting my head into my body becomes an involuntary action over which…
Vice President Mike Pence has sworn in the first official member of the Space Force during a ceremony in the Executive Office Building. General John Raymond is now Chief of Space Operations of the newest…
Rejecting criticism that it would shy away from the topic of impeachment, FOX News has said it intends to provide more impeachment-trial-related coverage than any other network. “In fact we are going to show nothing…
Faced with President Trump’s forceful assertion that he doesn’t know fixer Lev Parnas, Democrats admitted today were forced to use all their intellectual might to refute his robust denial. “We had to type ‘Parnas Trump’…
President Trump’s friend Rudy Giuliani expressed shock and delight today on learning he is not the most hated lawyer associated with the President anymore. “I’m not even the second most hated!” The change came after…
The uniforms for President Trump’s newly created military branch, the Space Force, have been released confirming his critics’ worst fears. “They’re camo – which can only mean one thing.” They say the tree camouflage design…
In another surprise move following the addition of Ken Starr and Alan Dershowitz to his legal team, President Trump has announced a further notorius lawyer will speak for him on the floor of the Senate…
(US Capitol) The impeachment trial of President Trump got off to a rocky start today after dozens of GOP Senators complained of distracting hand pain shortly after they were sworn in in the Senate Chamber…
(Capitol Hill, DC) Saying it was far too dark in the Senate Chamber to see clearly, Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has installed a large bright neon sign which he says will reduce everyone’s eyestrain. Rather…
The President has seen an exodus from his legal team forcing him to retain new counsel, which is proving far more difficult that anticipated according to inside sources. “Turns out when you don’t pay or…
In a speech denouncing the West, Iran’s Ayatollah Ali Khamenei has taken the country’s dispute with the United States – which has already involved assassination and missiles fired at US bases – to a new…
Defense contractor Northrop Grumman announced it has won a major contract to outfit the newly created Space Force – now an official armed wing of the US Military – with armaments, specifically the rayguns it…
Cory Booker has quit the race for the White House and has received numerous tributes, including from none other than President Trump himself. “Sadly we will not get to square off face-to-face, but Jordan Peele…
Gay actor Mike Pence has been nominated for an Oscar in the best supporting actor category for his convincing portrayal as a traditional straight family man in the comedy of the year, “The Trump Administration”….
After confusion over the purpose of killing Iranian General Qasem Soleimani – which has been justified both as a pre-emptive strike and also as punishment for killing Americans – President Trump revealed on Fox News…