Another Virginia politician who dressed up as Michael Jackson for halloween has pointed out that the incriminating photo clearly shows he was made up as the later white version. “That god I didn’t go with…
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President Trump has declared a plumbing emergency in the White House, freeing up federal funds to pay the best available plumbers to fix old and leaking pipes. “They cannot withstand this level of use.” The…
A native Alaskan man is apologizing today for shooting the National Security Advisor John Bolton in what he insists was a case of mistaken identity. “I was simply trying to feed my village.” The walrus…
The Bernie Sanders Campaign is in emergency mode as it awaits the fallout from the discovery of the Senator’s old MySpace profile which he had long forgotten about. Unfortunately the account was never erased and…
Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders has declared his candidacy for the 2020 election, with some observers wondering if he can generate the same buzz as he did in 2016. “Bernie’s traditional support base, the Millennials, are…
Having been rebuked for posting a picture of a federal judge involved in his case with a gun target superimposed, longtime Trump associated Roger Stone promised to behave properly in future. “I will henceforth limit…
A Washington, DC, restaurant that specializes in New Orleans cuisine has apologized for turning Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell into soup that was served to other patrons. “Amazingly our yelp rating has gone up, not…
After having what he describes as a ‘that-guy-in-the-bathtub’ moment, President Trump is said to have solved the problem of how to get his border wall built once and for all. “The answer was staring me…
Leading a nation is difficult at any time, but especially so in times of crisis, like the Civil War, World War II, or now. “Fortunately we are blessed with the leader these trying times deserve.”…
Despite fears that it was unlikely or even impossible, the United States is still here and seemingly intact a full six hours into the National Emergency. “If this isn’t a miracle I don’t know what…
Collapsing infrastructure across the county has had to be gently informed that the National Emergency declared be President Trump was not in fact intended to help it out. “Sadly, crumbling bridges and polluted water supplies…
Doctors who performed the annual medical on President Trump today declared his weight is totally unremarkable from an astronomical perspective. “Jupiter has us a little worried, but the President is just fine.” Trump’s weight, at…
(The White House) President Trump was said to be in a very good mood this Valentine’s Day, having come up with a ‘killer’ present that Melania is sure to love. “This present is great. So…
The country has learned from Senate leader Mitch McConnell that President Trump will sign a bill to avert another shutdown, after McConnell came out of his shell to spread the good news. McConnell apologized for…
President Trump has declared a National Emergency to build his border wall, citing the immense crisis the American people are currently facing due to immigration. It is already being described as the biggest emergency since…
Taking his cue from Ted Cruz’s suggestion that his assets be used to pay for the border wall, convicted criminal El Chapo said that was unfeasible but he has an even better idea. “Why not…
Following all the dubious boasts about votes cast and crowd sizes, people have started not to believes any of the record-breaking numerical claims coming from the White House. “It’s all been lies up til now.”…
The Westminster Dog Show is still reeling today from the unexpected win by a portly chow chow breed that no-one thought stood a change of claiming the mantle of best dog. “No dog like this…
President Trump has declared victory over Democrats in the deal struck to avert another shutdown. Described by many as a huge climbdown by the President, given he only won a fraction of the money he…
Saying it was bound to come out sooner or later, the Seal of the Commonwealth of Virginia has admitted to regularly blacking up during its long history stretching back to the Virginia Convention of 1776,…