(Cliffside Park, NJ) Friends and family of Dr. Mehmet Oz expressed concern today for the TV personality. Though they have long felt something was mentally ‘off’, a recent incident involving his run for office and…
What was otherwise shaping up to be another perfect MLK day of celebrating America’s most beloved pastor by a group a friends was ruined today when one of their number deviated from the standard practice…
MOSCOW BRIEF: Russian Premiere Vladimir Putin cleared his calendar today after reportedly being dissatisfied with his ‘surprised’ face which he expects to use in the coming days or weeks. Though Putin is long skilled in…
(Washington, DC) Police charged with protecting the US Capitol and the politicians and their staffers who work there say they are investigating numerous reports of missing spines that came in on the occasion of the…
Former President Donald Trump returned to Washington today to honor the first anniversary of the January 6th riot he orchestrated with a pipe-bomb-laying ceremony on the steps of the U.S. Capitol. In a brief speech…
(Altanta, GA) The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced their latest recommendation today that Senator Rand Paul (R – KY) self- isolate for the next 10,950 days. CDC Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky explained that this…
Researchers in the field of dermatology are publishing their amazing finding of the thinnest known human skin which they discovered on the body of former Pittsburgh news reporter and current shock jock, Wendy Bell. Using…
(Dallas, TX) First Baptist Church is still on fire following a visit by former President Trump for services in the week before Christmas, according to the area fire marshall. The unexplained blaze broke out while…
CAPITOL BRIEF: Leading figures in the coal and gas industries that have donated generously to Manchin’s political campaigns over the years said today they will be holding future contributions over concerns about how they would…
Following Senator Joe Manchin’s torpedoing of the Build Back America bill – allegedly in part due to a belief that child tax credits would be spent on drugs – members of the powerful Drug Dealers…
Numerous members of the Democratic Party are hospitalized today – with many in traction – after a ‘trust fall’ exercise on the steps of the Capitol went horribly wrong this morning. Intended as a team…
Following his latest maskless appearance in public, medical experts are urging Ted Cruz to cover up whenever he is around others to prevent a serious outbreak of people seeing what he looks like up close…
Not to be outdone by fellow Republicans Thomas Massie and Lauren Boebert, Georgia Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene today posted a photo of herself in front of the family Christmas tree together with her favorite warhead….
After finally making its way to the United States following tours of Europe and the African continent, the Omicron variant spoke to the press today about how happy it was to have made it to…
Speaking through his attorney today, accused murderer Kyle Rittenhouse said that, given his present legal problems, dating is difficult so the use of a professional to provide him with a steady supply of young girls…
Sesame Street was thrown into chaos today on news that one of its well-known residents, Cookie Monster, is not vaccinated against COVID despite leading everyone to believe that he was. With vaccination rates believed to…
Responding to a rising incidence of unhappy parents saying they want changes to public school teaching plans and mask mandates, President Biden took action today that he says will finally satisfy everyone. “I have ordered…
(The White House) Jen Psaki has announced she will be working from home following a positive test result indicating she is highly intelligent. Physicians at the Walter Reed Medical Center expressed concern that this is…
West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin was under renewed scrutiny today after a massive pile of coal was discovered in his Washington DC office. Further investigations focusing on his West Virginia home uncovered even larger stockpiles…
Pharmaceutical titan Pfizer, maker of one of the world’s leading COVID vaccines, has released an oral COVID vaccine, Ivermectan, available exclusively as a Tide Pod. Lead scientist Jessica Upend, Ph.D., said the decision to adopt…
