Amidst all the criticism of the Trump Administration, there is one group that can’t sing its praises enough – the White House event foldable lawn chairs. “Normally I’d have a sweaty ass parked on top…
(The White House) The celebrity playing Santa Claus this year has been named as singer, songwriter and perennial goth, Marilyn Manson. Though he never considered taking on the role before, Manson says seeing the White…
President Trump clarified his position on the 2005 Access Hollywood tape today by denying it’s him on tape, or that there was a tape, or a program called Access Hollywood. “You must be thinking of…
The mystery of why the White House Christmas décor looks so cold and ominous was answered today with news that a sequel to Stanley Kubrick’s horror masterpiece ‘The Shining’ is set there. “We’ll actually be…
(Montgomery, AL) In what some of his supporters are describing as caving in to political correctness, US Senate Candidate Roy Moore today pledged to only hit on 15-year-olds if elected. Moore said the change was…
The question of whether Donald Trump will be Person of the Year once again has been put to rest after Time Magazine revealed this year’s choice – Nelson from the TV show “The Simpsons” Despite…
News that Michael Flynn is co-operating with the Mueller investigation set the White House aflutter today, and is severely stressing the in-house laundry service. “We’re already understaffed so this is the worst time for a…
Controversy surrounds the traditional turkey pardoning this Thanksgiving after President Trump demanded the spared birds, Wishbone and Drumstick, express more gratitude for all he has done for them. The lucky turkeys duly complied, however Wishbone’s…
Following an attempt to oust him by his own party, Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe gave an incoherent televised speech to the nation saying he would not step down. The 93 year-old African dictator says the…
Facing criticism that his budget proposal was a giveaway to the wealthy at the expense of ordinary Americans, President Trump today insisted that those who stood to gain the most were among the poorest private…
President Trump has announced an end to what he called a bigoted and unfair travel ban against elephants entering the United States put in place by his predecessor. “Obama banned them from entering our great…
Insisting that the Christian Right were getting it all wrong, God today issued more commandments in an effort to get the people who claim to be his most vociferous devotees on the proper path. In…
Speculation is mounting that former Vice President Joe Biden is considering a bid for the White House, after realizing the Democratic Party has not produced anyone who has captured the Left’s imagination – other than…
Fresh from impressive gains in the State of Virginia, leading Democrats are becoming increasingly bullish about their prospects in the next Presidential race, including their ability to sway the all-important Russian troll demographic. “In the…
Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore took time today to explain his opposition to abortion, which he says is very personal to him. “I’m in my early seventies so the fetus you want to abort could…
President Trump got an opportunity to continue his bromance with President Putin in person today as they met in Vietnam as the APEC conference. Both decked out in resplendent matching blue shirt, Russian President Putin…
(Pittsburgh, PA) Following the abrupt decline and fall of nationally-known comedian Louis CK, and an icky storyline involving Aziz Ansari, local stand-up Jack Fap revealed today how he manages to be both hip and edgy…
After being convicted and sentenced to 47 months in prison, former Trump aide Paul Manafort has assured his family that he will not rot in prison. “It doesn’t matter what I’ve done, kids, because a…
When asked to comment on the time-honored Presidential tradition of pardoning turkeys before Thanksgiving, President Donald Trump surprised reporters today when he didn’t respond with a bad pun as is typical of these occasions –…
Economists are warning that the United States is at imminent risk of structural collapse due to mass unemployment, as the implications of a woman being fired by her employer for giving the finger to the…
