The President’s Chief Strategist in the White House, Steve Bannon, is leaving his position. Though rumors have spread that he was dismissed, Bannon says that working in the White House is very demanding and he…
The White House has released a statement on the Barcelona attack saying the President has been in touch with the Spanish government to convey his condolences. “Though this is a horrific attack, it appears that…
Though the Sun hates interfering in the details of planets – preferring instead to focus on gravitational orbits and providing heat and light – the President’s recent remarks about Charlottesville have proved too much for…
Senior White House advisor Steve Bannon was in buoyant form today, which he credits to President Trump for inspiring him to up his game by example. “I became lazy because I assumed I was the…
President Trump has revealed that he is a fan of the TV show Twin Peaks, after being asked what he thought about the death of Laura Palmer and the role of the Black and White…
In what is being described as a major embarrassment for city government, Baltimore residents awoke today to find all the city’s KFC restaurants had been demolished. Mayor Catherine Pugh explained it was the result of…
At a press conference today, a visibly drawn President Trump admitted he is exhausted by people constantly wanting him to be what he is not nor has ever represented himself to be. “Right after someone…
In a startling about-face, the White House has dropped its opposition to any form of socialized medicine and is now advocating for a pilot program specifically aimed at musculoskeletal ailments. The President was moved to…
Naturalists, both professional and amateur, are in a state of great excitement over the alleged sighting of a female of the genus Trumpus Proximitus, which is almost unheard of outside of mating season. “First the…
The company that makes Life Alert® – the medical alert system specifically designed to protect seniors from falls – has announced a special offer for those looking to protect monuments that they cannot be with…
BREAKING: President Trump broke from dinner moments ago to make a public statement after being informed that protestors in Durham, North Carolina, had toppled a Confederate statue early this evening. “Mere hours ago, a tragedy…
After taking only three days to come to the conclusion that murderous White Supremacy movements are bad, President Trump has announced the formation of a White House Diversity and Anti-Nazi Commission to show he means…
Days after entertainment giant Disney announced that it was migrating away from Netflix to develop its own streaming platform, Netflix is fighting back by attempting to discredit them via a twitter campaign. “Disney makes fake…
A local man has backed President Trump’s travel ban to keep out Muslims seeking to enter the United States. This is crucial, he maintains, to preserve the peaceful nature of the country he loves so…
Under continuing pressure to condemn White Supremacists in light of what happened in Charlottesville, VA, President Trump went on the record today to issue this statement directed at North Korean leader Kim Jong-un. “I’m going…
The arrest of James Alex Fields Jr, accused of killing one and injuring many more in Charlottesville, has come as a great surprise to neighbors in Ohio, who today recalled the gentle neo-Nazi they thought…
Speaking at a veteran’s event today, President Trump addressed events in Charlottesville that have left at least one dead and many injured after a car plowed into counter protestors at a right wing rally. Trump…
A local ‘entertainment’ website that is up for Best Local Blogger in the Annual City Paper Best Of Pittsburgh Poll is causing a stir after claiming the whole process is rigged, despite the fact that…
While President Trump has long been known to face down his enemies using large formations of small punchy words, his threat today to use more polysyllabic words takes the current dispute with North Korea to…
White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders has criticized the humorless scrutiny being applied to President Trump’s assertion that he was glad Putin expelled U.S. diplomatic staff from Moscow because it reduced the payroll. “He…
