Local couple Greg and Stacy Denardo are trying to save money, which is why they will be resisting the temptation to venture out to one of Pittsburgh’s fine restaurants this Valentine’s Day. “Why spend the…
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In a remarkable turnaround, leading Democrats have agreed to fund President Trump’s border wall in full, despite refusing to do so even in the face of a government shutdown. “We are releasing the money as…
Citing egregious and unabashed discrimination of the worst kind, Janet Jackson’s nipple filed suit today seeking tens of millions of dollars in damages from broadcaster CBS and the National Football League. The action was triggered…
Internet streaming site Pornhub has alerted the White House that someone in the building is streaming content from their servers for hours at a time during the workday. “We feel it’s our duty to let…
(The White House) With the sensational memoir by Stormy Daniel already shipping advanced copies, President Trump insisted today a copy be obtained for him. Staffers feared the contents would infuriate the notoriously bad-tempered Trump but…
Proving that he is a man of action and not just words, Pope Francis has taken a bold first step towards reform in the wake of renewed evidence of the extent of sexual abuse of…
President Trump wasted no time disputing a claim made by Stormy Daniels in a Vogue interview in which she claimed he was bad in bed. “Not true. So not true. Sad!” In the article, when…
President Trump has joined in the criticism of comments made by Samantha Bee, saying her choice of vulgarities was wrong and disrespectful to women. “There’s locker talk and then there’s just plain filth.” Trump asserted…
In an effort to get ahead of the damaging story enveloping him, God has released a statement regarding his frequent portrayer Morgan Freeman, who stands accused of improper behavior by a number of women. “Despite…
[Menlo Park, CA] Facebook has announced that is about to get a lot more involved in your relationships. Initial reports suggested its new ‘breakup tools’ would offer the option to hide your ex’s status updates…
After convincing America she is a very credible and articulate individual capable of drawing a vivid picture in people’s minds through the power of words alone, Stormy Daniels issued a demand today for 3 billion…
CBS is saying it is pleased with the viewing figures it received for its 60 minutes interview of Stormy Daniels by Anderson Cooper, though a backlash may be looming after Nielsen figures reveal many were…
The Easter Bunny has weighed in on the pressing matter of Marlon Bundo’s sexuality, saying he can confirm that the Pence family pet is gay. “Maybe not gay exactly but definitely bi, which I can…
As she continues to seek a way out of the hush agreement constraining her, Stormy Daniels explained today that her wish to be legally allowed to discuss her involvement with President Trump is not motivated…
The adult actress Stormy Daniels, aka Stephanie Clifford, is suing President Trump on the basis that a contract designed to silence her about their relationship was not signed by him. She alleges this renders ‘null-and-void’…
Saying this is a vital issue on which teenagers should get to speak their mind, former U.S. Senate candidate Roy Moore offered to hear the other side on gun control today. “Shooters are mostly men,…
Trump lawyer Michael Cohen went on record today about reports that he has issued 130,000 apologies to First Lady Melania Trump over the past few weeks. “It was standard stuff like ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘My…
President Trump has reportedly instructed his military chiefs to organize the biggest penile compensation ever held in the United States to take place in Washington, DC, this Veterans Day. Though other countries like Russia and…
After learning it had altered itself to become gender neutral, North Carolina has warned the Canadian national anthem ‘O Canada’ not to avail itself of bathroom facilities anywhere in the state. “We won’t tolerate none…
As he started his sentence of 40 to 175 years, convicted sex offender Larry Nassar got a touching surprise today, as fellow inmates Jared Fogle and Jerry Sanduski threw a surprise welcome party for their…