Society

Arts & Entertainment, Music, Society July 8, 2017

Singer Beck Sues Hipster Movement For Trademark Infringement

(Williamsburg, NYC) The eclectic musician Beck (full name Beck Hansen) has filed a lawsuit in Federal court charging the hipster movement with trademark infringement and withholding of royalties over a period of more than a…

Food, Society June 5, 2017

Millennials On Verge Of Redeeming Themselves By Killing Off Applebee’s

The oft-derided generation known as ‘Millennials’ is garnering widespread praise today following reports that its eating preferences is killing off Applebee’s and similar dining chains. Though typically spoken of in derisive terms for being entitled…

Bigotry, Food, Local, Society May 10, 2017

Restaurateurs Introducing Exciting New Concept Called Black Culture To East Liberty

Pittsburgh’s East Liberty neighborhood is about to be introduced to an exciting new concept called ‘Black Culture’ thanks to some enterprising restauranteurs. “It’s cool, it’s loose, and even a little edgy.” There’ll also be a…

Business, Local, Society, Yinzer March 19, 2017

Pittsburgh Ranked World’s Best City To Complain About Living In

Already repeatedly voted one of the world’s best cities to live in, Pittsburgh is now the best city on the planet to complain about living in according to a new survey by The Economist. Pittsburgh…

Business, Holidays, Society March 17, 2017

Millions Of Cases Of Irish Flu To Be Tragically Wasted On A Saturday This Year

It’s St. Patrick’s Day – a time to celebrate all that is Irish that involves drinking like there’s no tomorrow. But there is a bitter side to this year’s fun since it falls on a…

Bigotry, Business, Sex, Society March 8, 2017

Male Feminist Supporting Women By Striking Today And Every Other Day

(Monaca, PA) Today is occasion of the ‘A Day Without a Woman’ strike, in which women who can afford to are withdrawing their paid and unpaid labor to promote proper recognition of their important contributions….

Hipsterdom, Society, Travel February 23, 2017

GoFundMe Page Set Up For Unfortunate Twenty-Something Afflicted With Not Being On Holiday

A recently launched GoFundMe campaign has been trending due to its focus on helping a young person suffering from a terrible affliction. In the campaign, described as a Spiritual Journey and Travel Fund, a twenty-something…

Arts & Entertainment, God Stuff, Society December 28, 2016

God Basically Just Taking The Piss At This Point

It’s no news to anyone that 2016 has been a rough year for celebrities and their fans, with A list names appearing in the obituaries with alarming regularity. Even Pope Francis has had enough of…

Holidays, Science, Society December 13, 2016

You Need To Start Practicing Insincere Gratitude For That Awful Christmas Gift Right Now

The American Psychology Association (APA) has warned people who want to appear grateful for the hideous unwanted gifts they receive this Christmas that they should start practicing their insincere reactions right now. “With Christmas almost…

Arts & Entertainment, Society September 20, 2016

Thousands Of Ordinary Couples Scramble To Become The Next ‘Brangelina’

With the news that Angelina Jolie has filed for divorce from Brad Pitt, the race is on for who will inherit the coveted ‘Brangelina’ title that is a guaranteed tabloid seller. With no obvious celebrity…

Law & Order, Politics, Society, World September 11, 2016

Local Patriot Honors Memory Of 9/11 By Going About Day Exactly Like Any Other

[Pittsburgh, PA] Local proud American Ted Lugar knows he is not alone today as he struggles to pay ample tribute to all his previous bluster about important it is to show respect on this sad…

Bigotry, Society, Technology August 24, 2016

Depressed Internet Troll Just Not Hating Like He Used To

Local internet troller Jamie Sims has a problem though for the longest time the heavy internet user tried to deny it. He finally realized something must be wrong when the new Ghostbusters movie came out…

Local, Sex, Society August 23, 2016

Getting Stuck Between Two Buildings The Hot New Romantic Trend In Pittsburgh

Though it may not be the first city that comes to mind when love is mentioned, Pittsburgh has its share of romantics who know how to work with what’s available. “You can take your date…

Politics, Society, World August 20, 2016

Millions Discover Children Suffer In War Thanks To Viral Photograph Of Aleppo Boy

A startling photograph of a bloodied dust-covered Syrian boy has gone viral leading people across the globe to a make a shocking discovery – that children can suffer during times of war. Its impact is…

Food, Literary, Society August 17, 2016

Yo Mama Embarks On Self Improvement Program Ruining Millions Of Insult Jokes

Faced with the certainty of severe health problems, Yo Mama enrolled in a gymnasium today and retained the services of a certified trainer to get her in shape. Yo Mama has also reportedly gone on…

Arts & Entertainment, Science, Society August 11, 2016

NASA Finds Venus May Have Supported A Trashy Celebrity Culture In Its Past

A climate modeling study has shown Venus may have been habitable in the past, according to NASA’s Planetary Science Astrobiology program. “Venus may have been habitable for 2 billion years, which is theoretically long enough…

Bigotry, Law & Order, Society, Technology July 10, 2016

Pokémon ‘Weavile’ Stopped 51 Times By Police Before Being Captured By Trainer

The Pokémon Go phenomena sweeping the nation turn a darker today as it came to light that Weavile has been subjected to repeated stops by law enforcement. Though reasons were given in each case it…

Politics, Society, Technology July 9, 2016

Savvy Facebook User Exploits National Tragedy To Unfriend People He Didn’t Like Anyway

The painful events in Dallas have led to a lot of discussion about where we stand as a country, and just how unified or polarized we are. But less well known is the opportunity they…

Arts & Entertainment, God Stuff, Music, Society June 4, 2016

God Apologizes For Celebrity-Obsessed Grim Reaper Who Took Over At Start Of Year

God has apologized for the behavior of the latest occupant of the office of Grim Reaper, who took over in early January when the previous holder of the position elected for early retirement. “His references…

Business, Holidays, Society April 30, 2016

‘Mother’s Day A Commercial Gimmick’ Says Son Who Forgot To Send Card

Pitt Student Jake Roland may not be the most political person on campus, but you wouldn’t know it this Mother’s Day, for which he forgot to send a card this year. Suddenly displaying anti-capitalist principles…

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Breaking Burgh

A satirical blog serving Western Pennsylvania and beyond