(Pittsburgh, PA) A local man today declared his ‘total disgust’ at trans athletes participating in women’s sports, saying he has never felt more invested in an issue in his life. “This is going to destroy…
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(Pittsburgh, PA) So you accepted an invitation to your co-workers party on Sunday and – because you know absolutely nothing about sports – didn’t realize it was to watch the Super Bowl. Obviously you can’t cancel,…
STEELERS BRIEF: Saying he was keen to get on with the next chapter of his life, Ben Roethlisberger has elected to turn into an unfit bloated shell of his former self on the very first…
STEELERS BRIEF: Following up on his statement that the Steelers ‘don’t stand a chance’ in their unlikely wild card game against the Kansas City chiefs, Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisburger today confirmed he would be taking…
STEELERS BRIEF: After rampant speculation about his forthcoming retirement, Steelers franchise QB Ben Roethlisberger has effectively admitted that the upcoming Monday night home game against the Cleveland Browns will be the last time he throws…
Sesame Street was thrown into chaos today on news that one of its well-known residents, Cookie Monster, is not vaccinated against COVID despite leading everyone to believe that he was. With vaccination rates believed to…
STEELERS BRIEF: The front office at Heinz Field has announced a partnership with the NFL and a leading textile manufacturer to sell a new version of the Terrible Towel redesigned to better suit the current…
(New York City, NY) NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell today announced that the Pittsburgh Steelers were to be put down following Sunday’s loss to the Cincinnati Bengals. Goodell explained that it was ultimately his responsibility to…
As he passed the 50 day mark, President Biden’s record is being slammed for being virtually non-existent, as he has pointedly failed to deliver when compared to his predecessor. Critics said the President appeared to…
(Tampa, FL) Speaking ahead of his match-up against last year’s champions, the Kansas City Chiefs, Tampa QB and living legend Tom Brady said the game this year will be extra special. “I realize this will…
The 2020 NFL football season was thrown into chaos today, after Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin accused the league of being susceptible to widespread fraud. Speaking on 93.7 FM The Fan radio, Tomlin said there…
(Washington DC) Former fastest-ever-human Usain Bolt lost his world-breaking record today, when his remarkable display of speed was abruptly smashed in decisive fashion. The stunning new land-speed record for a human being was set by…
(Kenosha, WI) President Trump today promised he would make good on fixing an important issue brought to his attention by the death of George Floyd that he recently discussed in an interview with Laura Ingraham….
Saying they had never seen such a diligent and dedicated individual at work, a team of esteemed Presidential historians today declared Donald Trump to be the hardest-working golfer ever to sit behind the desk in…
(Sterling, VA) There were solemn scenes today at a DC area golf course as a visibly moved President Trump held a moment’s silence on the 9th green to mark what he described as a terrible…
Having completed its review and concluded that its current name is not appropriate, the Washington Redskins will change its name to the Washington Lobbyists. “Just as Pittsburgh has its beloved Steeler Nation, we now have…
NFL BRIEF: Insisting he wasn’t going to mess this up like he did with the kneeling protests first time around, Roger Goodell said fans need to understand the games will look a little different from…
Following the announcement of a total ban on displays of the Confederate Flag at its events, NASCAR has been working hard today to reassure fans that rumors circulating that mullets are also banned are completely…
(Sterling, VA) At the Trump National Golf Club this Memorial Day weekend, the President ordered that the golf hole flags be flown at half staff to honor all those who have died as a result…
(Harrisburg, PA) Saying it was necessary to set an example, Pennsylvania Governor Tom Wolf has ordered that Pittsburgh Steeler Ben Roethlisberger be punished for visiting his barber in violation of rules to control the coronavirus…
