(The White House) Following the appointment of Mike Pence to be his coronavirus czar, President Trump today described the steps already taken by him and his staff to prevent transmission of the deadly pathogen. “I…
Accepting her 2020 Woman of Distinction Award from Palm Beach Atlantic University, First Lady Melania Trump warned of the dangers of social media and some of the horrible things you can encounter on platforms like…
Boeing Corporation has fired back at critics regarding reports of debris being found in the fuel tanks of their troubled 737 MAX, saying people are blowing things out of all proportion. “Some debris in the…
Emergency rooms across the country are being stretched to breaking point with patients seeking help after being exposed to a new content platform ‘Knewz’ released by News Corp. Many complained of acute blindness and a…
(Pittsburgh, PA) A cat who is said to be ‘very behind on things’ is not ready for the weekend, even though it is already well into Saturday. The cat’s owner, a heavy user of the…
After years of holding the honor of being the top object of the wrath of real Pittsburgers, Mayor Peduto’s bike lanes have been dislodged from their pedastal by a Google engineer writing in Public Source,…
(Pittsburgh, PA) Entrepeneur Elon Musk has been warned to ‘stay away from these parts’ after advocating for widespread building of tunnels for automobiles to ease traffic in urban areas. Local residents questioned whether Musk had…
Time Magazine has revealed its 2019 Person of the Year, which is a cat for the first time in the publication’s history. Smudge the Cat was picked for numerous contributions throughout the year on important…
At vigils across the country, prayers are being said for Jar Jar Binks in the mistaken belief he has passed. “I just can’t believe he’s gone.” Rumors he had left the galactic plane of existence…
President Trump has continued to heap praise on Scotsman Alexander Graham Bell for his remarkable accomplishments. “This guy invented the smartphone – we owe him a lot.” Trump regaled his audience with a dramatic retelling…
A day after revealing his Air Force One redesign using livery remarkably reminiscent of his own personal aircraft, President Trump has ditched it in favor of a new proposal made by Boeing. “I love this…
Taking its lead from the United States Government, Google has withdrawn support for smartphones made by Chinese telecom giant Huawei. “Citizens of the United States will not stand for their personal private information being illegally…
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has entered the space business with the announcement of his Blue Moon lunar lander designed to deliver payloads to the moon’s surface. Though Bezos maintained his lunar lander was in response…
An exclamation point at the end of one of President Trump’s tweets expressed confusion today after realizing it was at the end of a tweet about recent events in Sri Lanka. “I must be a…
With a redacted version of the full Mueller Report about to be released, President Trump today complained that he hadn’t even managed to digest Attorney General Bill Barr’s four page summary of the report that…
(London, UK) The Embassy of Ecuador in central London is breathing a sigh of relief today after what it described as a seven year Airbnb nightmare. “You just don’t know who you’re going to get.”…
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif — Google Inc. (NASDAQ: GOOG) announces the beta release of its latest product offering, Google Climate. In addition to providing up to date weather information integrated with google maps and google earth,…
In an unlikely second act, widely mocked and also much beloved social media platform MySpace has overtaken Facebook in terms of content and activity. This was due not to an increase in the popularity of…
IT specialists for the Trump Campaign have notified Facebook that it is experiencing a massive outage, after seeing no activity on the many Trump supporter groups they follow and post to. “There’s no new activity….
A cow from Iowa is suing Twitter and the owner of the “David Nunes’ Cow” twitter account, on the basis that it is the cow that is being mocked via puns relating to its physiology…
