Collapsing infrastructure across the county has had to be gently informed that the National Emergency declared be President Trump was not in fact intended to help it out. “Sadly, crumbling bridges and polluted water supplies…
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TSA agents at the nation’s airports were in much better humor today, after getting news that a third party was going to cover their missing paychecks, which they have not been receiving despite working during…
The emotional support squirrel who was banned from a Frontier airlines flight has spoken up about the way he and his human were treated. “She needed me on that flight. Frontier’s policies are frankly nuts.”…
(Pittsburgh, PA) In great news for commuters, at least for a day or so, the Liberty Bridge is now open connecting the heart of the city to its most salubrious suburbs. The bridge had been…
(JFK Airport) A second plane at JFK airport full of sick passengers caused authorities to consider quarantine yet again today. “Tensions were high after the Emirates incident so when we received reports of a planeload…
(Pittsburgh, PA) At a brainstorming session for new initiatives to adopt at City Council today, someone – who exactly is not yet known at this time – suggested Pittsburgh implement a proper road system instead…
Those traveling on United Airlines should check the dates of their flights, as the company announced today it will have a one-day shutdown at the end of the month to train staff not to discriminate…
(Pittsburgh, PA) A missing dog, which had not been seen for days according to Oakland resident and owner Pat Rensiter, has thankfully been found safe in a pothole on Bigelow Bouvelard. The 75 pound canine…
A flatulent airline passenger who passed so much gas it resulted the flight being diverted is attempting to exploit recent news stories to place the blame elsewhere. “Must have been an emotional support skunk on…
Ridesharing service UBER is by now a familiar sight on Pittsburgh streets, including its famed self-driving cars that are still in the test phase. In the latest development, they have announced their cars will start…
Carmaker Rolls Royce has announced its first ever SUV, the Cannulin, which is creating a buzz among auto journalists and drawing a huge sigh of relief from owners of their minivan offering. “When we had…
President Trump took credit today for a report saying there were no deaths by falling anvil in the United States in 2017, while disputing figures saying there were no such deaths in the preceding years…
Admitting that one of their pilots drew a penis in the sky for a joke, the US Navy has said its best pilot has been ordered to Washington State to turn the offensive sky drawing…
On the day that the NAACP issued a warning to black passengers about flying on American Airlines, United Airlines couldn’t resist issuing a press release gloating over how it wasn’t called out. “So disgusted to…
In a move hailed by activists, women in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia are to be granted the right to drive automobiles, together with the attendant privileges of being the subject of misogynist bad driver…
Bike lanes are popping up all over Pittsburgh, and not without controversy, with critics saying it is unrealistic to expect city residents to adapt to a new road system when they are still in the…
(Bakery Sq, Pittsburgh, PA) Google Maps have announced a complete revision of their algorithm for producing directions that will apply specifically to the Pittsburgh area. This is reportedly a direct result of feedback received through…
After returning from his second trip to Europe in as many weeks, President Trump was finally briefed on dubious photographic evidence suggesting famed aviator Amelia Earhart might have survived her final flight and been taken…
The forced resignation by UBER CEO Travis Kalanick may have satisfied investors, but his abrupt removal is not being taken well by many of the managers and engineers at UBER, who say they intend to…
Ride-sharing company UBER has fired 20 of its self-driving automobiles over claims of sexual harassment following an in-depth internal investigation. The dramatic dismissal of the cars was revealed at a staff meeting at its headquarters…