The Islamic Republic of Iran has confirmed that it shot down a loaded passanger jet headed for Kiev, after categorically denied the fact for days on end. “Oh, you meant THAT Ukrainian airliner.” President Hassan…
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(Sharon, PA) A local man is continuing his protest against Mayor Peduto’s bike lane initiative, telling anyone who will listen that they’re the worst. “I am beyond angry over this.” Though he’s never seen a Pittsburgh…
(Pittsburgh, PA) Entrepeneur Elon Musk has been warned to ‘stay away from these parts’ after advocating for widespread building of tunnels for automobiles to ease traffic in urban areas. Local residents questioned whether Musk had…
Despite initial defiance, Boeing CEO Dennis Muilenburg has decided to step down in accordance with the company’s board’s wishes. Muilenburg, who needs to make extensive use of his provided company jet as part of his…
Today marks the official beginning of pothole season in the Steel City, as they started appearing in Pittsburgh’s roads yet again. Mayor Peduto said it was time to get in gear for the annual tradition…
Operators of Pittsburgh’s self-driving car projects, including Google, Uber, and Argo AI, found their work at a standstill today after all their autonomous vehicles went missing. “There is not a single self-driving automobile in the…
(The White House) As flyers continue to have safety concerns about commercial aviation, the Trump Administration has issued its advice on what traveling Americans should do in the short term. “Instead of worrying about which…
The Boeing company has announced a brand new aircraft that it hopes will reassure the public that it is dedicated to safety following the crash of two of its 737 Max 8 planes introduced in…
The investigation into the cause of the loss of Ethiopian Flight 302 took a major leap forward today when leading aviation accident authority Donald “Sully” Trump weighed in on the matter. “I don’t want Albert…
US low-cost carrier Spirit Airlines has announced it has changed its slogan, which used to be “Less Money, More Go” and before that was “Catch the Spirit!” “Our new slogan is: Spirit – Our Planes…
Saying he’d finally ‘cracked the puzzle’ of how to make a profitable electric car, Elon Musk has announced a total overhaul of the Tesla Model 3, which has been cut in price from $42,000 to…
Collapsing infrastructure across the county has had to be gently informed that the National Emergency declared be President Trump was not in fact intended to help it out. “Sadly, crumbling bridges and polluted water supplies…
TSA agents at the nation’s airports were in much better humor today, after getting news that a third party was going to cover their missing paychecks, which they have not been receiving despite working during…
The emotional support squirrel who was banned from a Frontier airlines flight has spoken up about the way he and his human were treated. “She needed me on that flight. Frontier’s policies are frankly nuts.”…
(Pittsburgh, PA) In great news for commuters, at least for a day or so, the Liberty Bridge is now open connecting the heart of the city to its most salubrious suburbs. The bridge had been…
(JFK Airport) A second plane at JFK airport full of sick passengers caused authorities to consider quarantine yet again today. “Tensions were high after the Emirates incident so when we received reports of a planeload…
(Pittsburgh, PA) At a brainstorming session for new initiatives to adopt at City Council today, someone – who exactly is not yet known at this time – suggested Pittsburgh implement a proper road system instead…
Those traveling on United Airlines should check the dates of their flights, as the company announced today it will have a one-day shutdown at the end of the month to train staff not to discriminate…
(Pittsburgh, PA) A missing dog, which had not been seen for days according to Oakland resident and owner Pat Rensiter, has thankfully been found safe in a pothole on Bigelow Bouvelard. The 75 pound canine…
A flatulent airline passenger who passed so much gas it resulted the flight being diverted is attempting to exploit recent news stories to place the blame elsewhere. “Must have been an emotional support skunk on…